Smartinof4steve

Morning sweet nothings...

2011-07-27T09:52:00.002-04:00

Alexe cuddled up to me in bed this morning, dressed in her gym clothes and headed out on her day off, and whispered in my ear, "remember, I could ALWAYS be fatter..."

Followed by a big self-satisfied grin and a tackle. :)

Family trip to the MS Gulf Coast

2011-05-31T10:00:00.002-04:00

I love my family. They are so much fun to spend time with, to have adventures with, to spend our "family days" toodling about doing much or nothing. Each member is chock full of personality, Alexe is super excited/forward planning/tickled with what we're doing; Caspian is happy to be along, chortles when he snags the center of attention, and periodically likes to step away from tagging along and copying his sister to do his own thing; Annaliese is a party animal, up for anything and everything, insistent about doing doing doing, and then wants nothing more than to sit quietly, have a book read to her, or watch some cartoons, preferably with everyone else sitting around her to cuddle while she curls into a ball with her blanket.

So we took this troop, packed them into our old merc wagon, rolled all the windows down that still work, and headed 5.5 hours south to a rented house on the beach. That rented house turned out to be a re-purposed fema trailer (or mema trailer? the larger ones that were produced after the fema formaldehyde issues were uncovered,) in a collection of 10, about 200 yards off the beach. It was clean and well organized, convenient, and all things considered, served us very well. (Also, 119 per night.) (Another side note, boatie the little merc wagon did great, though it was pretty toasty without AC, and we got well over 30 miles to the gallon. Tank and a half there and back, 600+ miles.)

The afternoon we arrived we walked over to the beach, and first impressions were great. The sand was great, the water was clear, and it was ankle to knee deep for a hundred yards out. Little waves, very children friendly. 2 seconds after arriving Annaliese spotted something moving, and we caught a little crab in our fishing net. At the time this was awesome, but it turned out that Caspian registered "fish, bite!" from that little crab, and he wasn't happy getting back in the water until the morning we were leaving.

Annaliese is a fearless water child, jumping and splashing and "swimming" as best she could in such shallow water, or riding on our backs as we belly crawled through the shallows. Caspian was more of a watcher, staying just back of the surf line, and mumbling about phantom fish.

We purchased the requisite beach toys, and dug moats and built sand volcanoes and buried each other. The little ones made friends with some locals, played catch with us, etc. All around a very nice beach time. We tended to arrive at the beach around 8:30, after a very early morning, breakfast, and lounge time, and be done by 10:30, back for a leisurely lunch and nap, then back to the beach in the afternoon until dinner time. The kids shared a room and bed, which was adorable, they loved hiding in their closet, and were better behaved all around than they generally are, even at home.

May have something to do with age. Caspian will be 2 on Friday, is talking and seems much happier now that he can generally make himself understood. Annaliese can be reasoned with, and is usually very reasonable. She has developed a very strong southern drawl, it appeared a couple days ago, and I am hoping it passes like her week long stuttering phase did.

Alexe and the BTC treated us to some wonderful meals, we took a little drive through biloxi over to Ocean Springs, got some fresh custard, and then headed back to the beach; the whole adventure was relaxed, rejuvenating, and fun.

Home, laundry mostly done, house cleaned, car cleaned and the sand vacuumed out, and we're back into our routines.

Now, I have a little something to say about the Gulf, and the impact of the oil spill. The sand was lovely, if littered with particles of roof shingles etc. left over from Katrina. However, if you dig down at the water's edge, like you do when building a sand castle, you have about 3 to 6 inches before the sand turns black. This may be normal, perhaps iron content, so I took this in stride. The other result of digging into the sand is that it smells very strongly of sulfur right below the surface. Again, this may be normal, and I think it might be since the tap water also smelled slightly. But, if you leave a hole dug into the sand, the water that fills it has an oily sheen, and the water itself feels greasy.

There are tar balls scattered around, hard little small-fist sized nuggets of tar. They stuck to the bottom, and honestly didn't seem that offensive.

Walking in the surf, there were sections where the bottom was super greasy, a gray sludge that stuck to your toes.

Each morning the dead catfish population was very high. Every 5 feet or so dead fish ranging from 6 inches to 18 inches would be spread all the way down the beach. Again, this may be normal, but it wasn't pleasant, and seemed unusual.

After the first day at the beach the wind picked up, and the small waves turned into medium waves, which results in a rolling wave-break of black leaf particles, sticks, and the periodic piece of garbage. Again, this may be normal, but it was not pleasant.

So. We had a lovely time, the setting was pleasant, the company was unbeatable, and for a holiday weekend, the beaches were mostly empty, which we liked. (though I'd never gone to the beach so early each morning, which might have contributed.) The distance from home was very doable, no airports and a 6 hour drive was pretty easy on the kids.

The oil spill in the gulf was far more catastrophic, and merits far more mind space and action now and in the future, than any of us have given it.

Alexe will have pictures up soon, I'll either steal some for here, or reference them. Despite the adorable swim suits Alexe got for Annaliese and Caspian, nude-y-butts were plentiful.

Frigidaire fail

2011-02-01T11:35:00.002-05:00

Our front loading washer stopped working 3 years in. After a bit of research, it turned out that the door locking switch stopped working, and after a bit of online research, we've found that this is a known issue. Frigidaire has designed a new part that doesn't break, and they're willing to sell it to their customers who already forked out for the whole washer for $65. For those who aren't able to disassemble their washing machine and replace the part themselves, the price tag is that much higher.

I sent them the following note expressing my disappointment at their poor product integrity, and you can see below the blank corporate non-answer they responded with. We've poured a fair amount into the Electrolux (parent company) coffers in the past 3 years, obviously that ends now.

Original Text

From:	do_not_reply@frigidaire.com.com
To:	web.other@electrolux.com
CC:
Sent:	01/28/11 18:58:19
Subject:	Customer Service Issues

Posted on 1/29/2011 12:58:19 AM
Message Type = Contact Webmaster

Model Number = gltf2940es3
Serial Number = xc64108833
Purchase Date = January 2008

Customer Information
Subject = Failed washing machine
Message = Very disappointed to have this front loading washer fail after 3 years. I have been installing frigidaire appliances in all of my apartments for the last 3 years since we were so pleased with our personal washer/dryer/stove and refrigerator purchased 3 years ago. Now the washer has failed (fast spin no longer functioning) and after some research I find this is a common failure, known of by Frigidaire, that has not been corrected, and is no longer supported by the company since the poorly designed part failed after the warranty period.I will no longer be a Frigidaire customer in the future. I only wish I had learned this before I had purchased the last 14 appliances, which I can only expect to fail in the near future.

WEB.OTHER@electrolux.com

to me

show details Jan 29 (3 days ago)

Thank you for contacting Frigidaire.

We regret to hear that you are having difficulties with your laundry appliance. For the best assistance we recommend contacting an Authorized Service Technician that will be able to provide you with a full diagnosis and provide you with any repairs needed; for safety and liability reasons.

Unfortunately with a situation such as this, there are no troubleshooting steps or suggestions that we can instruct you to perform prior to contacting a provider.

You may visit www.frigidaire.com/servicelocator to find a Provider in your area to contact, or contact our Contact Center for further assistance, 1-888-203-1389.

Please provide the servicer the model/serial number and date of purchase. We show the unit is outside of warranty, so this will be an out of pocket expense, unless the unit is deemed defective or unrepairable. No matter the outcome we will need the technician to document his/her findings so we can accurately document your account and move further with any actions needed on this unit.

Should we be of any further assistance please feel free to contact us via web or 1-866-655-8391 for scheduling assistance, and questions.

Wedding Toast to Nicholas and Emily Cofrancesco.

2010-09-28T12:26:00.003-04:00

If we’re lucky, we meet people that make our lives better.

The good times better.

The bad times… better than they could be.

I’ve been wallowing in memories of Nicholas as this wedding has approached, remembering the importance, the heart, the impact of this amazing man in my life over the past almost 20 years.

The innumerable wanderings of a shared youth spent in Vermont and NH.

West Leb, Hanover, Manchester (VT and NH), Chester, Weston, Claremont, Woodstock…

Cross country skiing in New York.

Mac World NY, taking rest breaks to set down the swag bags that were cutting into our fingers.

Boston, New Year’s eve, freezing on the wharf.

Wandering an abandoned theme park in Maryland.

Key West. Vegas. San Diego. San Fran. LA. Mississippi. Annapolis. Tahoe.DC.

And.

New Years, Maine, mourning the loss of my brother and raging at the world on a frozen beach. Nicholas, freezing with me, sharing my hurt, and tempering it with champagne, lobster, and artichokes.

And.

Walking on a beach with me and my future wife, the day after she and I shared our first kiss.

I rely on his heart, his perspective, his sense of wonder and incessant drive to find something interesting and fun to do. His willingness to be honest with me, when it’s easy, and not so easy, to share.

My life is and has been better because of him.

And he has found Emily.

Who I do not know as well, but know three important things about:

She makes the world taste better, she has one of the most beautiful, infectious smiles I have ever seen, and she makes Nicholas happy.

We are all better for having these two in our lives.

If you think of the impact they have had on your life, just imagine the amazing world they create for each other.

A toast, to the life Nicholas and Emily will share, and the joy they will radiate to each other and all of us.

rocking kids.

2010-06-14T10:51:00.003-04:00

Caspian is walking around the house, hand on a wall still, but cruising. And climbing. Had to put all the little rocking chairs up, since every time we turn our backs he's standing up on them, holding the back, happily rocking back and forth. So at 1 he's great.

Annaliese, at 2.5, is doing arithmetic.

We have a program where, for peeing in the potty, she is rewarded with a gummy bear. For #2, she gets 2 gummy bears.

Yesterday she was explaining this to me, confirming the deal before she went to the bathroom, and a light went on. She said, "if I poop I get two gummy bears and if I pee I get one gummy bear. So if I poop and pee I get 3 gummy bears!"

That's not the deal, it's one or the other, but I was so tickled I agreed. :)

cool pictures of the store

2010-06-03T15:44:00.001-04:00

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kelly-Rauch-Photography-Prints-Calendars-T-shirts/115625225132905#!/photo.php?pid=223671&id=115625225132905&fbid=126778884017539

Bored

2010-04-12T16:42:00.003-04:00

Sitting on the porch on a gorgeous day, working on a laptop, and bored out of my mind.

A lot has happened since I last put anything up here. A trip to Vermont with the two little ones. Just me, and the two little ones. Was lovely, except for the stomach bug that kicked in on the flights north, (puking Annaliese on a puddle jumper) and proceeded to infect everyone we saw. Everyone. And outside of that the kids didn't sleep. Alexe had a lovely week at home decompressing from 2 years of motherhood.

I've been to Florida a couple times for work, Alexe is opening a grocery store May 1, we have another batch of 26 chicks, Caspian is crawling and the sweetest boy in the world, Annaliese is a whole person, full of charm and stories and songs and screams. The lettuce is up in the garden, we ate some home grown strawberries last week, it's spring and everything is growing and blooming and lovely, and I'm stuck in a chair on the porch.

With so much to do before the store opens, the fun stuff now that the floors are done and the lights are up. The assembling shelves and building produce displays and popping in windows and putting copper counter tops up. And the weather is perfect, blue and warm and gentle-wind.

And last week I had sinus surgery, to fix the issues that have had me with a bad sinus infection something like 4 times a year for the past 5 years, and the last bout lasting 5 months straight. And everything was going well, slowly but surely recuperating since the procedure on Tuesday, then I got up for 2 hours yesterday, and have felt like a drained noodle since.

As much as I like to tease alexe about how much she hates me being down and out, and how this negatively impacts her care-taking skills, (hard to nurse-made with a scowl of disapproval on your face,) the truth is I hate it too. Sitting still has almost no appeal for me. I like to do, possibly to an unhealthy degree as some have accused me of being addicted to doing lots and lots of stuff, and they may be right. I get pleasure out of accomplishing, and what most people seem to think of as work, I find really enjoyable. The moments after I finish something and still coast on the feelings of accomplishment are short; I move on to the next thing very quickly.

This may have to do with the time period in my life, the building phase, say, but it might also be a deeply ingrained character trait of me. A personality audit they just did on me at work-work says that's the case.

But it all means, today, that I'm sick of being a noodle, and I want up and out.

harumph.

oh, but I am very thankful I'm still alive.

Free Will

2010-02-03T23:20:00.003-05:00

I've just returned from a kersnooze, an evening out with a friend to watch a film up in Oxford.

A God is angry and will wipe the face of the earth flick, which had a great premise, a great cast, and a terrible director and script. So bad, in fact, that I enjoyed it quite a bit.

The highlight was the conversation I had with my friend in the windy parking lot after the movie.

Recently (the last couple months) I've been pondering the downside of not having free will. (Presupposing, for my devote atheist reader, a God who decided for rather than against free will. Hi John.)

Honestly, I can't find a downside. What if, at the point of a decision, people could identify the correct/best/right choice, and "choose" to make it every time? This would not eliminate hard choices, accidents, and from what I can see, curiosity, and the opportunity to play and explore within our world. Relationships, love, friendship, marriage even, could thrive. "Choose" a spouse, just choose the right one.

The up side would be the elimination of malicious behavior, and possibly, of guilt, greed, and hate. At the least these emotions would be reigned in, and certainly actions based on them would not be as destructive.

The downside, to present my most biased argument, would be no option for war, persecution, abuse, or all the other lovlies we "choose" to exercise as a species.

Which led me to the next question, if free will is such crap, why would God choose that for us? Is our life better for it in a way that I don;t understand, having such an experientially driven perspective?

This is what was in my head, and what I was venting in the parking lot this evening.

To which Jav responded with this argument:

If you have 2 children, (fancy that, I do,) and one grows to be a giving, loving, positive person, the other to a drug addled, angry, even destructive towards other people person, do you love one and not the other? I don't know that this example would have worked for me in the past, but it certainly does now. No, I would not cease to love either.

I might focus my love more towards the child that is hurting those around (pick a pronoun.)

How does this tie back to free will?

Well, if we are offspring of God, His image and whatnot, then free will would not be a choice to bestow on us, it would be a part of our makeup. No choice there for God to make, except possibly that of determining what sort of playground to set up for us. (The universe, laws of physics, our brand of logical linear thought, etc.) Which is an interesting shift from what we often assume, that free will was granted, rather than not taken away.

This answers some questions, and raises a whole lot more. (By answers, I don't mean conclusively, but based on the postulates. Again, for John's sake. :) ) Whether or not God knew how his children would turn out, that their descendants would ravage both the playground and each other, could he love them less? Would he have chosen not to have them? Would he restrict their essence, remove the option to turn out poorly?

Having children is a crap shoot. But I want the best for my kids, and have very little idea of what that means for them now. I may think I know more as they reveal themselves more over time, but who knows. But what stood out to me, and I thank Jav for this new thought, though it baffles me, is that love for our children is a prison. In some ways it is a forfeiture of our own free will.

Two trailing thoughts: 1) Obviously that isn't true for everyone, examples being the craptastic folk who made me want to strip them of their free will in the first place. 2) How is God's free will holding up? What have we done to Him?

The Zoo!

2010-01-19T10:35:00.009-05:00

We got lost on the way, (no more iphone gps, working with a company blackberry. The usability difference makes me want to scream most of the time.) so fresh out of the car we all look a little zonked.

Annaliese's favorite part of the zoo, the water. The fountain and flowing water at the entrance, the pools and waterfalls in the animal enclosures, she couldn't get enough.
Caspian mostly liked spending the day with us. The new setting was nice, but not as interesting as the familiar smiling faces.

Lunch next to the Lions.

Another visit to the fountain before going to see the zebras.

Zebras!

Places to go, no time for a family photo.
Not pictured are the elephants, the huge rhino, many other animals we did see, and far more we got tired before getting to. Now that we have a family pass for the year though, (Thank you Natalie!) we're looking forward to coming back.

T'was really nice to spend the whole day toodling just the four of us. no work, no projects, just photo opportunities, and a quick stop at Whole Foods because, after a month of not being able to taste (through the holidays!!!) the antibiotics have kicked in, and the world is full of incredible mouth-watering tidbits.

A personal flash back over the last month or so.

2009-10-15T11:48:00.013-04:00

A little picture bonanza, since the iphone has been filling the gap in the absence of our camera. (Lost the camera battery charger on our trip to VT last month, took us a month to bite the bullet and buy a new charger.)

A turned 27 last Friday. Here's a flashback to 2006, building a cabin in VT, pre-children, pre-MS living.

And look at her now. It's going well, don't you think?

Which all roles up into taking my girls and boy to the airport yesterday for A's annual trip back to VA to visit her family. I don;t mind sharing, I was getting very clingy by the time I had to watch A a and c walk away through security. Here's the little girl on the drive to the airport.

While packing and getting dressed for the trip, the two little ones had a little love fest. These are in chronological order, all in less than a minute.

We have a little family tradition of dance parties in the front hallway. Annaliese will ask for them, pull on our legs and do her little hand-waving asking for things to get us into the hall, point at the computer and jiggle until the music is turned on. Everyone participates.

That's right, that sexy lady is airborne. (I hope she doesn't mind me sharing, I'll find out soon enough. :) )

Little c has to ride along, but seems to love them just as much as his sister.

This little guy showed up on Friday night, after the birthday bash. After removing 2 pounds of matted fur, and killing several thousand fleas, he's getting quite comfortable around the house. He's getting shots and snipped tomorrow, and we'll see if we can find him a home, or maybe he'll stay with us. We're pondering. He's been incredibly easy, very sweet, at first he kept trying to run away, we finally let him go thinking he might have a home that he has left (yes, a home that must have treated him terribly) but after that one walkabout, he can go out by himself and comes right back to the door without supervision. Here he's commandeered my flannel shirt. That flannel shirt was made for my father by my mother. It has passed through almost everyone in the family before I snuck it south, and now both A and a periodically steal it from me.

Bought a dozen pairs of thermal Atlas Fit gloves to last me through the winter on the building, a decided to open the package and try them on.

Little poodle, we're calling him Hercules.

A's birthday cake. If you look closely you will notice the bites missing from most of the chocolates. This was maybe 5 minutes after I brought the cake out. Made to order the night before, had to wait until that afternoon to frost it, because I ran out of butter. The frosting alone took 5 sticks. They ain't kidding when they say butter-cream.

Isn't she lovely?

Part of the birthday meal. I can't tell you how good the first bite was, it had been too long.

I know A put this on her blog, but I took it, and he's adorable.

A also complained about a baking day we had a couple weeks back. A photo I took that day. Missing are the molasses cookies, the two pumpkin pies, the cream pie, the lasagna, and the chicken soup. Oh, and a, who kept me company in the kitchen all afternoon, had some play dough. Great way to spend a rainy Sunday.

The last farmer's market of the year. A has effectively made the town on Saturdays, and after a great season, she put together an antique tractor show, potluck, music, and big vendor bash. She's done amazing things for our town.

a sat on every single tractor there, about a dozen. One of the beaming old farmers who had brought his tractor fired it up for her. She wasn't the biggest fan of that.

On our morning walk to the market. Our routine is we set the tent up on Friday night, A gets down there on Sat morning before 8 to get the vendors set up and put out the signs, and I get the kids ready and walk down a little later. It's been more fun since a has started refusing to ride, and trundles on her own.

It's been a long time since I had any pictures of the building. We started back on our respective projects after a summer focusing on the house and babies. A is back on book #3, and I'm back at the building. This was one of the last upstairs windows in the project to replace them all. This particular window had the extra issue of the neighbor's roof line, which used to be an alley until they threw a roof up, cutting across the window above the level of the sill. I had to raise the sill, and cut down the sash to just barely get enough incline on the sill to pull water away from the window and back onto the roof. All the windows are now new on the second floor, and we are weather tight for the first time since we bought the building.

Not so Random.

2009-10-12T11:49:00.002-04:00

Driving into work this morning, I had the radio playing some pop station. My mind was wandering, but not all that far down any particular path.

I clicked it off, and this is what I thought about:

The world used to be much quieter. Living must have been much quieter. Music was not always something you had in the home playing in the background, unless everyone was constantly singing. Possibly in the evenings someone might have the time to pick up an instrument and entertain folks, or a traveling group of musicians might come through town, but in between these events there was not the constant drone of semi-storied lyrics floating through people’s thoughts.

The same thing applies to plays / movies. These used to be an event, again a troupe passing through town, or the local theater, or eventually a movie theater. With space in between. Not the glowing box in every home, streaming various alternate realities into our lives first thing in the morning, or last thing at night.

And books. They used to be rare, prized, and less book-warehouse-ee.

Athletics events: Used to require participation or at least attendance, and they were not every day options. Certainly not available to watch from a couch at any time of the day, every day.
I’m not sure if video games have a historic analogous activity. At risk of stretching too far to find one, let’s say role playing games preceded video games, and look at secret societies as a distant cousin. Or possibly crusades. Play acting in an effort to live a life more grand than what you have right now. Again, gathering to chant in robes, or go kill the heathens, took commitment, activity, and was not something done any day, in between other activities.

All forms of entertainment. Or, if that raises your hackles, things that occupy the mind.

Let’s not think about the issue of quality and quantity. I’m sure folks have strong feelings about quality, either the erosion of it in these forms of art/entertainment, or the perseverance. I’m sure it has nothing to do with their professional or academic investments.

I am just struck by the amount of time a mind is occupied with these external stimulants. Not whether the mind is weakened/numbed by the onslaught we experience today, again I imagine this would be a contentious place to step, but with the restriction on the amount of time the mind has to pursue its own ends.

How often do you unplug and let your mind wander?

When was the last time you really thought about something, and something you found in your own mind, not something that was stimulated by a piece of entertainment? How much time did you allow your mind to contemplate? Did you follow the thought as far as it would lead, or did you get distracted?

You may notice a theme with my last post…

What would come out of all our minds if they weren’t kept so busy processing what, I humbly submit, is busy-work?

A thought for another day, is it a good thing all that raw possibility is kept in check? Is there an equal chance that the potential of our species, while huge, could be hugely catastrophic instead of glorious?

What purpose does it serve to keep ourselves zonked for fear of finding out?

A large part of me is yelling “let’s get on with it, whatever it is.”

Random

2009-10-07T10:06:00.006-04:00

Throughout the weeks, and sometimes months, that I don't come to this spot and share my life's activities with you, I try to set interesting ideas and thoughts aside in my mind for sharing here. When I finally get back here to share something, they're usually all gone, and I end up doing a re-cap of the activities, without any thoughts or feelings shared.

No remedy here, just noting what happened again this morning.

One major exception. I have been struggling to grasp the number of living, thinking, feeling creatures on this planet, let alone what might be beyond. Last year Time magazine had a one page filler article that listed the sales of specific products in the world by day. I tore the page out and posted it on my office wall, and almost every day would find myself trying to bring those numbers into my head and get comfortable with them. They were things like 15,000 bottles of one vineyards specific zinfandel, or 36 Porsches, hundreds of thousands of cans of certain types of beer.

Theoretically 5 to 6 billion people is no trouble. Sure. Large population masses, social behavior on grand scales, nations and their conflicts, religious groups and their disagreements, at this conceptual level my mind relaxes and can cruise through. But when I try to think of 60 thousand people getting together to watch an athletic event, or 11 million sitting in bed or on a couch at the same time to watch the same television program, or 100 thousand people wiped out by a wall of water, or 500 million parents picking up babies and worrying about feeding them, or thousands of individuals getting angry for different or the same reasons and striking each other. This is the stuff I can't open up and examine. Getting on a plane, seeing 100 faces that are all headed somewhere, for so many reasons, each with its own complex process of arriving at a decision, based on 1 to 90 years of experience leading up to their being on that plane.

I haven;t been able to do it. I can't sidle up to all that information, I find myself zooming out, back to the conceptual level or experiencing the more basic blind spot to this sort of data overload.

For two reasons, I keep returning, trying to find something. The first reason I think has to do with the challenge. This is a new sensation, where I feel separate from my computing power, and am observing the struggle from some other position.

The second is that there is a problem with all these people, and it needs to be fixed. And I want to find that solution. (Disclaimer, as this has distracted some I have talked this over with. I do not need to be the source of the solution, the source of the idea, the recipient of credit, etc. But this is what I want to work towards. It's a variation of the fixer complex, but in this case I want to see this problem fixed, and I want to be involved.)

The problem is that we have 6 billion people. (all these numbers are going to be very rounded.) And a good half of those are under educated, under fed, mis treated.

There are many people who dedicate their intellectual or physical pursuits to solving parts of this problem. They help victims of natural and people-driven disasters. They help feed, clothe, medicate, protect, and educate groups of people. They protest the destructive impulses of large groups of people. They make sacrifices for these things, and change many lives for the better.

But what they are up against is a crushing force of violent, negative, and greedy people in huge numbers.

There is a problem, and an opportunity. Using that guess of 3 billion above: We have as an asset, 3 billion human beings. Each with a mind, a heart, and an opposable thumb. I read a number of years ago that if the Sudan alone was cultivated into farm land, that piece of land would produce sufficient food for the entire globe. I'm sure that is out of date now, but I believe that feeding every being on the planet is not a challenge, or a strain on the planet's resources. It simply is not a priority for the other 3 billion.

I don't believe in giving people something for nothing. Not because I begrudge sharing the fruits of my labors with someone who is not working, though I certainly understand that emotional response and have experienced it myself. I think that receiving something for nothing is bad for the soul. (I would take exception to this for things like Grace, but for another time.) I believe a person derives their sense of self worth through their contribution. These contributions take all manner of shape and form; contributing food, art, love, friendship, ideas. People do not feel good if their only contribution is need.

And this comes down to their self perception.

So the problem is both to gainfully employ, by whatever standard each individual needs to be for their self perception to be healthy, these 3 billion individuals. (Two asides: 1) I do not limit this to those 3 billion, there could be great cases made that the currently active, and well fed half of the world could do with some serious re-purposing. 2) I don't accept the arguments that the world is overpopulated, full stop. That may be the case, but this is pulling the discussion away from a solution, and focusing on a symptom.)

Think of the cost to feed, clothe, house, and educate these 3 billion.

Now think of what 3 billion people could produce. This gets us back to my shortcomings at the micro-level. First think of what you could do with 20 skilled people. That is a solid software company, a decent engineering firm, a very well staffed kitchen, and in some cases 5 decently sized farms. Now think of 2,000 people, educated and motivated. Even at this point my head starts to hurt.

Let's guess that it would take 25% of the efforts of those 3 billion to feed/clothe/house/educate the full number. That may be high, it may be half the amount, change that number to whatever makes you comfortable to proceed. I don't think an argument can be made that it would ever be greater than 50%. (Keep the damn military budgets out of this. Another symptom.)

With this huge amount of productivity, what is being produced?

What is the goal? And very importantly, what types of education will get there.

Now lets drop the us and them. Honestly, what's the goal for all 6 billion of us?

I strongly feel that success here is not having 6 billion producing refrigerators, tvs, computers, and entertainment for each other. I may be wrong, but it makes my chest hurt to think that is the pinnacle for humans.

Is it exploration of the universe? Turning the planet into a well manicured, preserved, safe environment for all? Extending life spans, or working towards a departure as a species from our corporeal restrictions? I have no idea. Because it is not only the task of finding a direction to head as a species, it's also determining the necessary steps to redirect, and compel each individual mind and heart to participate.

I don't know if the process is the solution, or if the solution is the goal.

But we have incredible abilities, as individuals, and as a species. We have a huge number of us, and if we make it a priority, a little work can bring a huge additional amount of potential online.

To make it a priority, I believe the need for those resources is the only thing that will drive this. So, what can we do, what do we need to do, that will take every man woman and child on this planet to play an important role in?

Think huge.

And get back to me. Even with two children who aren't fans of sleeping, and an inordinate number of things on my plate each day, I lose sleep over this.

Point in time

2009-08-17T19:45:00.004-04:00

I'm sitting in a hotel room in Detroit.

The weekend was spent working at our usual pace at home. A has today and tomorrow alone at home with the kids, so we did everything we could ahead of time to ease the two-baby-alone marathon. (Yes, these two cutie-pies are a marathon, for even the shortest stretch, let alone a solo night/morning/day/and another early night.)

Last week Boatie (see A's blog if that doesn't mean anything to you,) cooked her battery, to the pleasant odor of sulfur/rotten eggs. Since I needed to drive something to the airport, and A needed something safe for her and the two bebes today and tomorrow, I put a new alternator in the pretty blue station wagon.

And while I was at it, I replaced the demolished left motor mount, reinstalled the headlights that someone put in upside down, new hatch struts for the trunk, cleaned her inside and out, and reassembled the dash around the radio that, even with a new fuse isn't making any sounds, and fixed the passenger rear door so it doesn't lock itself each time you start her up. (Super annoying when you walk around to get one of the kids out and the door is locked.) ((Yes, it's hard to stop once you get started.))

And since I was in the mood, I moved on to the tundra, and replaced the front brakes, rotors and pads, cleaned the K&N filter, and cleaned her inside, and the bed outside.

A is almost finished priming the porch, which she's done entirely herself. All 300+ spindles. We have a date this coming weekend to put the paint on. She also ran the Farmer's Market with little a, (C was chilling with me in his buzzy chair while I was under the hood of boatie. And he came with me to the auto parts store.)

Church, very unsuccessful naps, a first lunch out with both kids. Tried to mow the lawn, but a belt snapped on the mower. *sigh* didn't even get irritated at that one, it was Sunday night and dark, so I figured the weekend was ready to wrap up.

We'll be able to have the painting date because A's sister and father are coming down for a 6 day visit, arriving on Thursday. E has been in New Zealand, Australia, and China since January, and we're super excited to see her. And c has not met either E or F (grandfather).

Hmm. We're tired. Taking a week in VT over Labor Day, which we're very much looking forward to. c's first time in VT, and our first flying trip with 2 little ones.

a's 4 eye teeth are coming in all at once. Heart breaking to pick her up in the middle of the night as she sits in her crib crying into her blanket. We're burning through the motrin and teething gel.

mmmm.

I may continue to ramble later.

Our meeting turns out to be way north of Detroit, in Lovernia, or something like that. A suburb that was founded by immigrants from New England, previously from around the Baltic sea. Incorporated in 1950, primary reason being the tax revenue from a local horse track, which has since closed. But it's pleasant, nice greenery and people take care of their homes. Just not the downtown area with the abandoned comercial buildings that I have such a penchant for.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love abandonned industrial buildings? Steel and glass, brick, stone, solid structures with wide open spaces, solid, hard lines, that have a strength and beauty that is super? (Wasn;t sure where that sentence was going.) I just really like them. Old churches, manufacturing spaces, I just really like 'em.

But we're not anywhere near them, and I'm tired. So we're going to try to find somewhere nearby to eat, then I'm curling up and making sure I make the most of this sleeping opportunity. Early morning meetings, then flying home tomorrow afternoon.

so. cheerio.

A very pleasant weekend.

2009-07-27T17:23:00.004-04:00

I think this is the first picture I have of my family, all awake, and mostly looking at the camera.
Blessed, I know.
Our chickens are enjoying a free-range lifestyle. They find their own way back to their roosts inside the chicken house at dark, we just have to keep the dogs away from them (especially Shadow, who has a terrible track record with chickens,) and keep their water filled. 4 to 5 eggs a day, out of 9 hens.

Here's the rooster. These chickens have no names: as I explained to them when they moved in, if they stop contributing to the household, it's into the pot, and a name would just make that difficult.

My beautiful girls.

Alexe let me go on a daylong kayaking trip on Saturday. 17 miles down the Mississippi, crossing between the Arkansas and MS sides, a couple stops along the way. A good time all around, and planned and made possible by my good friend and neighbor, pictured below. We've been fishing together down on the gulf, and all I can say is, I hope I'm in that kind of shape when I'm his age.

Rounding out our party was another friend from Water Valley. His current incarnation is as a real estate agent, keep that in mind for the next picture.

Now for a little bit of commentary on life in general. Things are good. Our little boy is an amazingly easy baby. Sleeps, eats, sits quietly and looks around, smiles in huge bursts when you coo at him, and then goes back to sleep. By himself, in his bassinet (which he's almost outgrown, in 8 weeks on Wed.) in a separate room.

Annaliese is adorable, running around the house, adamant that she and we spend lots of time with her book collection, and working on an ever expanding vocabulary. She still refers to the chickens, or anything chicken related, as "bok bok", but is calling the dogs by name.

My bride is crazy. Not 4 weeks ago, after the second baby had arrived, we had a decompression where we went over the events of the years since we were married, and decided the next years should slow down a little. A week later she bought a flock of chickens, and as of yesterday I think we're getting a jersey cow.

She went to a friend's house to pick figs, came home with a bowl full, and then was anxious all evening worrying about what we were going to do with them. Could not settle down.S

She's also the source of some of the most unbelievable quotes. Because I love her dearly they are not being repeated here, that and you probably wouldn't believe me.

Certainly a source of smiles and on-toe-keeping.

I think that covers my ever expanding family. 2 dogs, 2 kids, 1 wife, 10 chickens, a number of mice (that number is decreasing as quickly as I can manage) and possibly a cow. With a calf, if I heard correctly.

A busy fall coming up, a few business trips, some family visiting, and everything else that will crop up. We've planned out the next 9 months, with deadlines etc. for our various projects. I'm impressed with our abilities to accomplish things, start to finish, but even so, we've started far more things than we've finished. With a whole bunch of luck we plan on coming to a caught up moment in the next year before launching into the next storm we choose to create.

Hope all is well in your varied worlds.

keep scrolling...

2009-07-23T14:46:00.002-04:00

You may note a shortage of Caspian pics. He kinda looks the same in all his pictures right now...

Pictures will have to speak for themselves. Good times.

2009-07-23T14:11:00.005-04:00

Pictures.

2009-06-14T21:49:00.010-04:00

Just uploaded a bunch of pictures, in no particular order, so I'll comment as they come up.

Found this brick pathway off the back end of the porch while running around with a backhoe. (The backhoe was super fun.) The pathway was 3 bricks wide, so I added another 2 (on the left, covered in sand I'm working into the gaps) to make it even with the stairs we built.
Fresh squash, from the farmers market, sauteed in butter that afternoon. Super fresh and delicious.

Brick pad being put down between front porch steps and the stairs down to the street level. Pressure washed those stairs and took down half of the bent railing. I'm going to take down the rest, the stairs didn't have the railings originally, and the side that's left looks like it was hit by a truck.

Shower tiled, grouted (with epoxy grout, lower half, royal pain in the butt to work with,) and shower rod up. Couldn't find a long shower curtain, so my extendo-cords made from colored copper wire are neat looking, match the handles A wanted, and fascinate little a, but don't slide all that well. Thinking about alternatives. Still need to cut the aluminum plate to go over the handles. (Those brass cut-offs have a habit of wearing out, don;t ever want anyone else to have to re-tile this stupid thing, so the aluminum panel will look nifty and act as an access panel.)

Sunset a few nights ago. Amazing.

My family on the stairs.

a has been incredible with her little brother. Kisses whatever part of him is closer.

final ditch, after the culverts are in. process below.

culverts in.

awesome machine. those sections, 4 ft diameter, 8 ft long, weight over 6,000 lbs.

in progress.

cleaning out the ditch, hit lots of squisheeness, had to put down a layer of rock to prevent the sections from sinking. Was not fun. Haven't received the bill yet.

cutie pie at the farmers market.

A series from the porch yesterday. 10 days old (11 today) not the prettiest time in his life i'm sure, but somehow he's still adorable.

hee hee.

Awesome.

dashing.

Big day

2009-06-03T21:58:00.002-04:00

My son was born today.

Caspian Pierce Coughlin.
Home birth, A was amazing, mid wife barely made it in time to catch the baby.

23 inches long, 9 lbs 14 ozs, full head of dark hair. (His big sister had the same hair at birth, it's now blond ringlets.)

woah. family of 4 now.

We've moved into our new house!

2009-04-19T22:13:00.002-04:00

And my months of working till midnight away from my girls are over!
Go check Alexe's blog for a full viewing of our new place. I'm too busy relaxing in my new living room to duplicate her many picture postings.

Turning into a busy March too.

2009-03-16T14:58:00.010-04:00

Saturday night Annaliese discovered her light switch. Standing in her crib she can reach it, and has in the past flicked it on a couple times. On Saturday she suddenly knew what she was doing. I put her down, and didn't hear a peep, but then noticed the light coming from under her door. I marched in, to find her standing on the far side of her crib, waiting for me. I leaned on the edge of her crib and flicked the switch off. She marched over, flicked the switch back on, and looked at me with a big smile. I flicked it off, she flicked it on, and we did that a dozen times. Then A came in and I got distracted, so Annaliese flicked it back on, and dove onto her blanket and buried her head, bum in the air.

I flicked it off. She howled (first time, she had been smiling and mischievous up to this point) stood up, marched over, turned the light back on, and looked at me with the most hilarious look I think I've ever seen. Lower lip sticking out, brow furrowed as tight as she could get it, hint of an angry tear, defiant, challenging, and just a touch of an angry but humorous glint in her eye. I scooped her up and brought her back out into the kitchen, sat her in her highchair, and she ate a bunch of peas while A and I continued to make dinner and dance in the kitchen to the music A had playing on Pandora.

On Sunday I was priming the house, (inside) in preparation for the new floors, and sorting through the tail end of the massive pile of refuse we had accumulated behind the house during the renovation. I burned the porches last summer when I tore those off, but since then the entire back side has been replaced, all the siding, and then there's the scrap from the various new materials. It had all been piling up, and getting larger than was safe to burn. Not to mention all the treasures in there. The pile was I'd say 50+ feet long, 20+ wide, and at least my height. It took 2 weeks of sorting and burning to get through it, but we finished yesterday.

Annaliese was very helpful, playing in the line of emergency water buckets, begging for wheelbarrow rides every time I emptied it, and every once in a while picking up scraps of wood and putting them into the wheelbarrow. I've been working pretty steadily, with A managing the little one's schedule to keep her rested and fed. That means I'll look up every once in a while to see A and Annaliese leaving our house to walk across the street to join me. Annaliese usually notices me when they get to the street, and I love it when she starts yelling at me, waving both her arms, and getting excited about coming to see me. On Saturday A was taking laundry down on the porch and Annaliese noticed me all the way from there. She hollered, and tried to climb through the railing. Makes me feel super special.

And if I'm rambling, it's because I'm a bit tired, and have had a blurring day of bringing all my office work up to date and prepping for a busy week, here and on the projects at home. If you're still reading then I assume you're along for the disjointed ride.

A is doing well, though is battling her pre-disposition to worry. We're going to move into our new house on April 15th. There's much to be done before then. Much. But that's what she wants, and she wants things very strongly nowadays. The building continues to truck along. I'm still working on that Tues/Thurs evenings and some of Saturday, and it's getting to an exciting place. I have 5 windows left to do on the second floor. That should take me maybe another 2 weeks, what with the work I'm doing on the house. The house is Monday/Wed/Fri and Sundays. Which makes for a draining week, but there's obvious progress being made all around, and we've got a baby on the way. Not to mention I don't generally do things the easy way.

Speaking of, the little man seems to be coming along. A is eating well, resting, and generally doing everything right. She just has the little hereditary issue of getting anxious over things. Which makes for the fun unwinnable race of fixing the things she is anxing about, only to have her find something new. That girl can find things to worry about that I would never dream of. But she's cute, and in between pressuring our workers at the house, her cousin who's living with us for another week and working for us, and me to do more-faster, she's sweet and has that pregnant glow. I would hold up the fun dancing session we had in the kitchen just the other night as exhibit A, juxtaposed with exhibit B: the earth-shaking question of curtains for the new house.

That's pretty much everything that's consuming my days. The weather has had a nasty spell, but generally we're in Spring mode, with buds on A's freshly planted fruit orchard, daffodils everywhere, and two dogs that tend to disappear for hours at a time around the neighborhood. Haven't seen Dido for 2 days.

oh, I'm running for Alderman of Beat 3. Still haven't decided if I want to go for it hard. I'd like to lend my efforts to fixing the town, but I've never been one to ask people outright for favors, and asking 1,000 people to vote for me doesn't feel natural.

Anything else? These updates are never very complete, but hopefully they convey a general sense of how things are going.

Cheerios.

And Picture:
Windows, in poor light, freshly installed.

Pre-windows.

Annaliese's first snowy morning.

My beautiful building.

This was the sun setting as I drove home some time in the last 2 weeks.

ahhhh.

You MUST go to A's blog to see the video of this.

An my darling. glowing, in't she?

New house, coming along.

My little girl.

If you ask Annaliese "what does a dog say," she says "woof" and losses it in a giggling fit.

Busy February

2009-02-09T14:56:00.021-05:00

So backing up a bit, it's been busy around here.

I started the month down in New Orleans for my company's annual client conference. I organized a volunteer work day for anyone interested in coming in a day early and pitching in on a house in St. Bernards Parish, and was pleasantly surprised to have 30+ folks from all over the country coming in early and rolling up their sleeves. As a side note, the St. Bernards Project was the most effective, relaxed, and productive non-profit I have ever encountered. They had materials and one volunteer on each site, (we were spread between 4 houses, 30+ people, and the houses were not large,) and there was less than 5 minutes between arriving at the work site and everyone actively working. The house I worked on was fully insulated by our group of 6, other houses were sheetrocked, mudded, and one experienced "mold remediation", all thanks to a group of "suits" that were willing to dive in.

One house when we started:

When we finished:

Now on to my daughter. She's growing like a weed, running around, expressing her very strong opinions, and exploring the world. She's taken to climbing, and very luckily seems to have a decent sense of balance. Her on my stomach, all her.

The climbing is a bit more worry some. So far she's a little less certain on the decent, but she's figured out that a hand-hold is vital. Case in point, she brought me her shoe the other day, I opened it up and held it down for her to step into. She backed up, put a hand on a dining room chair, and then held her foot up for me.

This is a bookshelf I made a few years ago, it's now in her nursery. I think it's going to have to be moved before she goes any higher.

And cause she's adorable.

Cousin Nick is working diligently on the re pointing project. After getting fed up with the wasted time taken to move scaffolding around, I made this purchase. Got a great deal, and have several requests to rent and/or purchase it once I'm done.

The house is coming along. The wood siding is mostly in place, with a couple of gables to go. This is what it looks like in raw wood. We are nearing the lower end of our cash reserves, so Alexe and I have started working on the portions we can do ourselves. What with Saturdays and Tues/Thurs evenings already dedicated to the building, we don't have all that much left in the schedule to contribute. However...

With a wonderful partner, and some decent weather, look what we accomplished in 5.5 hours yesterday. That's including setup and cleanup time. (This is primer, paint will be nest weekend.) Amazing how the proper tool can make a job fly. Those airless sprayers, (another tool that paid for itself in a day,) are amazing. Don't those overalls just melt you? And look at little A. She spent most of the day on my back in her carrier, but had some breaks to wander around, and one hour long nap in her stroller in the kitchen. Overall she was a champion.

Lunch break, courtesy of an amazing wife and mother.

Cute too.

Finished product.

And this is what I did on Saturday. All the front half rounds are installed, (that lift is amazing) and the two center windows are in. Alexe has completed the 2 coats of blue on the store front, and we have cleaned the interior for the movie on Thursday night. As soon as my arch is done, (it's taking far more coats than I thought to build that arch out of mortar...) I will remove my forms and the concrete border will be burgundy. All in all we're coming along. (With a very serious prospect for long term rental of half of the first floor, which we are very excited about.)

So. The little boy that is due in May has been treating Alexe very kindly. Periodic cravings for yogurt seem to be the worst of it. (That's right, in case you forgot, that lady standing on a barrel painting away is 5 months pregnant. Such a package.)

I threw new fuel filters into the diesel station wagon, and it seemed to perk up the acceleration. New tires and that should be on the road this week. Hmm, anything else? Probably. I hope you all are keeping busy and/or happy. Spring is coming down here, (saw daffodils yesterday,) and the world is a beautiful place.

Almost finished my storefront!

2009-01-22T15:44:00.011-05:00

So there were some delays. I started ripping out my glass and the entire frame around my storefront the week after Christmas. I took a week of vacation to get everything done, and made great headway, until it started raining, and the new glass order was delayed. I was going to try putting my original glass back in place for the big panes, but after breaking one while taking it out (it was under so much pressure in the torqued frame it cracked after I released the first clip) and then trying to cut down the sheets to fit my newly-square and plumb openings without success, I bit the bullet and ordered all new tempered. The pictures are in no particular order, but right here is a night shot after the glass is completely installed, including my lovely new transom windows. To see what it looked like when I started, scroll down a few posts. (And to put this in perspective, the store is 50 feet across, and the top of the transom windows are about 12 ft up.)

Though I still have some painting to do, this essentially took a week and a half of full time work, and less than 2k, including all new glass. Though I've had set backs on my second story window installations, this certainly came in on budget and in time.

I'm still working on my arch. Notice the lovely brick arches that used to float across the front? When the previous owners installed the concrete ripple board over where my transom windows are, they took hammers to those arches so the concrete boards would lie flat against the building. I've build my form along the bottom edge, and will build out a 1.5 " relief that follows the arch profile all the way across. The it will all be painted burgundy.
The inside is much lighter now, and if you recall from earlier views from the inside, the large concrete display ceilings that were sagging and cutting off the light are no more.

From some time in the process.

Me and my baby in her new backpack carrier. She loves it, and will ride there happily for hours as I work or run errands in town.

It's very well designed, all the weight on my hips like a climbing pack.

And our house two blocks up the street. Wiring is done today, roof only waits on the ridge caps, and we're preparing to put the new siding on. Then it's insulation/sheetrock/kitchen/bathroom/paint/trim/floors. Getting there.

#2

2009-01-06T16:18:00.001-05:00

Is a Boy!
And Annaliese is 1 today!!
Hurrah!

January 5th, 2009

2009-01-05T12:22:00.003-05:00

And I'm too busy to upload pictures here one at a time, so I've posted a bunch here: http://picasaweb.google.com/smartinof4steve/2008ChristmasVacation?authkey=TQoa83-hpMU#

Along with some comments.

A nice 2 weeks off for the holidays, most of which I spent ripping out my storefront and rebuilding it. The frames were all rotten, much of the glass separated, and there was a very heavy layer of unsupported concrete above the glass that was blocking the natural light. The tempered glass order was delayed, and it started to rain near the end of the week, so the final paint is not on, and the glass isn't in place, but it looks a world better, and should be completed in my regular work schedule ( Tuesday and Thursday nights and Saturday) some time next week.

Our house is coming along, now that the rain has stopped a day here and there. The tin roof is mostly on, the windows are in, the house is wrapped, the electrician is working, the siding is being delivered form the mill, etc. etc.

My girls continue to bring me waves of joy, and remind me that my favorite thing is not so much swinging a wrecking bar, but wandering around in the beautiful outdoors listening to the young and slightly younger ladies of my life yammer on about whatever they're interested in at the moment.

Which doesn't take the pressure off to wrap up some of these projects, but it's a sweet reminder of why.

Saturday night, what's been accomplished.

2008-11-01T19:41:00.019-05:00

And Happy birthday to my papa, who's 64 today.

I'll let most of the pictures speak for themselves, but those white corrogated things that used to be on the front of my building, they were not fiberglass as I suspected, but rather some sort of concrete board, in 10 ft sections, weighing several hundred pounds each. They were difficult to get down without smashing the front windows. I'll leave it at that.

Here's a reminder of what the place has looked like since we bought it.

I refinished this door.

This is how the building looks now. Center windows removed, awning and corrugated crap removed.
Paul Parker, 94, used to own my building, and Wade my 82 year old barber.

Paul came by to see what I was doing to his building. He took a tour of the upstairs also, walked up the stairs himself, all the way through the upstairs, down the back stairs, (I supported him on those, they're a bit steep) and then he walked himself home, 3 blocks away. Incredible fellow.

Our friends John and Becky opened their restaurant on Thursday. I went for lunch today, and this is what I ate. It was the best meal I have had out in MS, bar none. Everything is homemade, the flavors were incredible. Incredible dressing on the caesar salad, really tasty crawfish bisque, real mashed potatos, southern style green beans (meaning with-bacon), tasty slim sweet potato fries, and meatloaf. I always try the meatloaf, it's a good measure of a place. Everything was delicious.

Sash, 2 coats of oil based primer.

I did this much last night. Nothing else to do on Halloweeen.

Our new house.

New footings poured.

Footings for the new wrap around porch.

Pictures!

2008-10-30T13:20:00.015-05:00

My family has been out of town, visiting family in Virginia. I'm lonely, but work-work-working.
Don't have any new pictures of my sweetie, but there are a few on my phone of Annaliese.

Also, building progress, sash assembly complete and priming underway, mudding of all sheetrock complete, and the progress of our new house. :)

Enjoy.

The healing properties of time.

2008-10-22T12:35:00.003-04:00

Or maybe it's the staying power of strong emotion that is lacking. I don't know, and it doesn't seem to matter.

What I'm astounded by is the result. Incredible experiences, gut wrenching, throat closing, blood raising, that leave you curled up on the floor gasping for breath, become easier somehow. At times you may question the validity, or intensity, of the emotion when looking backwards over a great enough distance.

So in theory that's interesting, and even in experience it can be "interesting" with proper perspective.

This comes to mind for several reasons.

I have had a broken heart in my time, possibly more than once. Not the kind that I think I would be subject to if I ever lost little or big A, but decently powerful enough to impact my eating and sleeping habits for months. (Big A would contest this is related to broken pride rather than heart, as I never loved before her. She may be right. In many ways I know she is.)

Anyway, those hurt, and then after a while they didn't.

I have lost a sibling, my big brother, when I was 21 and he was 24. That is an empty like I cannot describe, pressing down for months and years. Waves, each different, as various areas of numbness woke up only to be barraged with what they had been avoiding.

It has been 6 years, and these days I can have large chunks of time go by that are not aware in the moment of this loss. The waves come when triggered, weddings, birthdays, working on cars, seeing other brothers working or playing together; when I am reminded of what I miss, but the missing does not impose itself on every moment.

That's a bit dire, I know, and I don't mean to bring you down with these types of stories. I share these here because I have had time to adjust to these events, so the healing, or fading, I have also had time to adjust to.

It is the most recent experience of this fading, and the accelerated nature of the forgetfulness, that has me in shock.

As you must know, the coming of little A in January of this year started for big A and me a time of sleep deprivation, and sapping of patience. Little A is a strong willed child, was from the moment she appeared, and she knew from hour 1 that she had been far more comfortable in her mama's belly, and saw no reason for trading her cozy pad for the loud, drafty world outside. She was not happy for 3 months. Not colicky, not sick, just generally pissed. It was miserable. Since then we've had about 2 months in the last 9 when we were able to sleep with only a single interruption through the night. For the last 2 months we've been in teething-ville, another unpleasant land of sad little eyes, wailing gums, and ear pulling discomfort. Then of course there's the newly discovered ability to stand up, and the unstoppable urge to do this even in her sleep.

These more recent developments are actually kinda fun, since their coolness is obvious even when we're dead tired.

However, the beginning of this adventure was not nice.

And yet, just the other day, I found myself telling someone it wasn't so bad.

I've lost my memory, or mind, in 6 months.

It might possibly be linked with finding out that big A and I are expecting a new one of these little packages in 7 months.

And now it's October

2008-10-06T15:39:00.019-04:00

My word.
But I have lots of Pictures!

Big and Little A, Water Valley elementary school in the background.

New Teeth!

Clapping.

Chicago Airport.

Orvis store, Essex Junction, VT.

Family! Vermont, William's future cabin site. (William's new 4 wheeler.)

Big and Little A!

Me and my papa and my baby.

Natasha and Nathan's wedding, VT.

Bride and Groom.

Natalie and William, William's farm.

Me and Natalie on William's 4 wheeler.

Apple straight from the tree, Vermont.

Jersey cows, Vermont.

And now it's September

2008-09-18T10:38:00.003-04:00

My how the time flies.

The air has turned crisp and lovely. Annaliese is chomping down all sorts of interesting meals, scooting around the house on her butt and yammering up a storm.

And this morning, for the 1096th morning, I woke up next to the girl of my dreams. (That would be the 3 year anniversary of our marriage, one of those years being a leap year.)

It didn't strike me when I first opened my eyes at 7 this morning, got out of bed, and threw on a robe to go see what Shadow was barking at. (The meter man.) But when I came back into the bedroom, which Alexe recently re-arranged, effectively making the house feel new and fresh with the new season, I saw sprawled across our bed a lovely long girl, her freshly-cut hair in a morning-punk, her face smooshed into my pillow, and my stomach flipped.

This is the girl that has countless times inspired me to get into my car and drive, hop on planes, dial a phone, whatever I had to to be near her. My heart has twittered, my breath has caught, always to resolve with a sigh, a relaxing of my stomach and a sense of belonging.

And she's all mine. I get to crawl back into bed, pushing and shoving until there's enough room for me, see the smile cross her face in her snoozy state as she shuffles until we're settled and twined for another few minutes of peace before Annaliese wakes up.

And now we have Annaliese. A project that we share, a creature that makes us proud, happy, and overcome with school-girl-crush love.

There are trials and tribulations, struggles and frustrations that weigh on our world, but they're all outside. The place that I have found, citizens 3 and counting, is a mountain top where I find complete peace. The crap can't touch me here. My stomach, I can't emphasize this enough, has never been so relaxed.

It's luck, a blessing, Alexe's gift, certainly not due to anything I've done or deserve. But I am eternally grateful, and incredibly happy.

June already

2008-06-18T14:20:00.007-04:00

Well, May seems to have come and gone.

My posting rate seems to have slowed to just-long-enough-to-lose-my-entire-audience.
We'll see if we can keep it from slipping any further.

We've had a lovely road trip to Vermont and back by way of Virginia, with two pooches, a now 5 month old, and for the first section of the drive, Annaliese's godmother (visiting from Germany.)
Annaliese was surprisingly good with the back seat lock-down. 3,000 miles total, in the back of the truck, one day almost 16 hours straight.

We had a lovely time. For details check with Alexe's blog, which makes this one look...bad.
Back to MS, the heat, job, building, and most recent project (not that the others have been wrapped up.)

Alexe has finished her second novel and is busy sending that out to agents. She has also started on her third, which makes for fun brain-storming conversations, and her office, which I'm borrowing today, is covered with research books and whatnot, and the new world she is constructing is slowly taking shape on the walls. Very cool.

The building is coming along. I've been hanging sheet rock, to get it out of the way and to make the place look as far along as I know it is. Visitors just aren't impressed with the progress when they can see and walk through walls. My papa made me 21 crescent windows for the top section of the second floor windows. We picked up the pieces in VT, and I'm assembling them now. I can't say how impressed I am with the quality, and precision of these windows. They come in 8 pieces (times 2 halves), and those pieces slide together perfectly. Pictures will follow on those soon.

Annaliese was happy to come home, remembered the place (which surprised me) and is getting more and more fun. (And more and more difficult, but in new ways. I can see a third difficult personality joining the fray, and my oh my.)

Against my best efforts, our house has been inundated with plastic injection-molded stuff. But when she sleeps in her swing, and plays by herself in her rolly-bouncey-seat, purist principals go out the window.

We're sleeping far more, and I'm finding it makes it harder to wake up in the mornings. Doesn't seem fair.

We're in the middle of some new real-estate dealings. True to form, we're keeping the capital investment low, and the sweat-investment likely high. That may change after we take a closer look. More details on that soon (in Blog-time.)

We have a lovely garden this year, with a much-simplified crop. 41 tomato plants, and a whole bunch of basil. We had some green fried tomatoes the other day.

I'm going to make an effort to upload some pictures. I don't know what I have on this machine, but hopefully there are some nice ones.

The darling child.
Below our new pond in VT, by the Cabin, we've put in an outdoor tub. Most incredible experience ever: fresh spring water from the pond, heated in the tub by a wood fire, incredible views and shining sun. Lovely.
A & A, my two ladies. Also lovely.

Annaliese's godfather, flown into Virginia from LA for her Christening.

April

2008-04-21T13:34:00.004-04:00

Well.

We've had a visit from our lovely cousins from Colorado. Pictures and details at Alexe's blog.

We've had a week of a nasty cold, which miraculously Annaliese has largely dodged. Alexe was hit last Monday, I got it late Wed., and Annaliese was stuck sitting between her miserable parents in bed, bright eyed and bored. Thank goodness for the transitive mama-antibodies.

The building is trucking along. I've run into 3 big zingers at the same time: heating and cooling, electric, and new window sash.

I'm learning about 3 phase power, which I'm going to put the whole building on, (3 new meters, 4 gauge wire, over 100 ft from meter box to breaker box. Just the wire: Ouch.)

We've repaired the boat our neighbor gave us, (all the wooden bits had rotted away from the otherwise perfect aluminum body) and took a joy ride last evening around Enid lake with a borrowed 4 horse motor. We learned 1) that Annaliese is adorable, and loves to pee, 2) that we need a bigger engine, 3) that we need cushioned seats and a canopy, and 4) that the sunset in April on the lake is gorgeous. It was a blue sky with wisps, and as the sun went down, there was a rainbow 30 degrees south of the setting sun. Amazing.

We came home and had a little barbecue.

Baby's sleeping more, Alexe's been working on a nighttime routine that is getting her in bed before 9, with only 2 to 3 feedings. A huge improvement. And The child is getting more personality, and more smiley, as the days go by.

We had a very successful Founder's Day celebration on Saturday, celebrating 150 years of Water Valley. The Main Street group organized music, races, games, food vendors, etc for the whole day, with the county's first ever fireworks display. We shut down mainstreet for the whole day, with the last band wrapping up around 10 pm. (We're still in MS afterall.) Alexe ran a wonderful baby crawl competition (which our child couldn't participate in, she's not quite there yet.) and you'll never guess who was half of the winning horseshoe team.

Looking forward to our May trip North, as the sun is getting amazingly toasty already down here. Lots to do, have a bid in on another project that I will expound on if we get it, and the regular work and full plate are chugging.

Pictures when I'm on the right machine...

Spring

2008-03-26T10:43:00.004-04:00

Another busy spring. The building progresses, a nice visit from my parents, a little sister's 21st birthday in Vegas (I can't attend), and the same making an offer on her first house. Plans for a Christening/dedication, trip North, garden, and all the local socializing that the lovely weather encourages. Lots of fun, beautiful days, all accentuated by a lovely family.

Which I can't get over. My girls are so adorable. Screw balls, fussy, demanding and spoiled, but I love them both sooo much. And they're so good looking.

Very nice weekend

2008-03-02T22:14:00.010-05:00

Hurrah!
A Saturday of family and building work, (one room left to pressure wash upstairs!) and a Sunday with a long morning, Annaliese only needing one change in the middle of church, and an afternoon spent running a chainsaw!
We had a great time at A&A's chopping down a couple oaks (and a few other trees that got in the way), and generally hanging out. The two new mothers got to hang out while A and I played with chainsaws and split some wood. (Boy, when 4 out of 6 people's names start with A, it gets harder to keep their names out of a blog post.)

So, all around very nice weekend.

And Nicholas and Emily got a dog!

Thought

2008-02-12T13:54:00.000-05:00

A little different topic here:

I had this thought this morning in the shower. I was wondering about the different religions that people have had, the belief structures and more importantly, the objects of their belief. (Reading "Pyramids", another pratchett novel.)

That got me thinking about God, the modern Judaeo/Christian God, and how we conceive of Him as having made us in His image. Or we think of ourselves as being made in His image.

Spent a while lost in that thought, and then I started pulling that one apart and wondering about the differences between God and man.

The leading characteristic of us I had been struck with through this whole thought process was our need or at least compunction to believe in something. And I got stuck on this: Belief is one of the most basic characteristics of people. Even the most devout atheists are firmly married to their belief in logic, reason, and the validity of their sensory experiences. How is that any different from believing a giant dung beetle is pushing the sun across the sky?

Which brought me around to the question, if we are made in God's image, and we so fervently Believe in stuff, what does God believe in?

Got me for a while.

Then I thought, it's Us.

Monday morning

2008-02-11T17:09:00.000-05:00

I just re-read the first line of my last post. I'm going to claim sleep deprevation.

Which is getting to be less of an issue now. (Knock on a forest.) It's a combination of adjusting to less sleep, a wife who generously takes the 12 to 5 or 6 shift, and a baby that is sleepig for slightly longer stretches.

And she's getting to be more fun. Almost a full hour of playing with her, making her smile or just stare in random directions without crying; diaper changes that have her grinning and pumping her little frog legs, bath time when her hair sticks to her head, she sticks her little tongue out in a thoughtful manner, and looks adorable; just plain cuteness that comes with extra baby-fat.

Finding time to spend with my partner is now the leading project. It's hard to even hug without having the child between us, and I don't foresee a time in the next few months when we'll sleep through the night alone in our bed. SIDS is far more prevalent in the States, and there are some leading theories that this is because of our practice of having babies sleep by themselves before they're ready. The theory (pretty widely proven) is that baby's learn much of their basic bodily functions by mimicing what their mother does: breathing being the most important. If they're sleeping in contact with something that is taking breathes regularly, they're far less likely to stop (breathing).

So the theory goes, and we're not taking any chances.

Pair that with my renewed energy for my building project, driven by the deadline of the end of this year, turning the corner to creating instead of ripping and throwing out, and a general desire to untie ourselves from this particulat location, and quiet time spent curled up with my wife hasn't been happening nearly enough.

I've got some posts I'm planning for a late night when Annaliese is awake but not crying. Disertations on being a father, cloth diapers, natural childbirth and midewives, and general thoughts on my experiences over the past few months. I don't know if they'll ever get writtten, but here's to giving myself some external pressure.

More of my daughter

2008-02-04T00:20:00.000-05:00

My inlaws have a strange propensity to assign immense import to possessions, particularly pieces of clothing, that have been around for a while. There was the case of something very important from the family history that Alexe was meant to wear on our wedding day. The various important baby things that Annaliese will be wearing at her Virginia christening. (Who knows what she'll be wearing at her Vermont christening.)

I generally believe these sorts of traits can skip generations, and thank my stars that my wife has only shown this sort of attachment to a tank-top she had in high-school, and possibly one of her mother's sweaters.

Then I walked into the living room today, and came upon my darling wife, and my darling daughter, holding a photoshoot. Annaliese was wearing this little number that apparently both Alexe and Eliza wore when they had their pictures taken on their one month old anniversary. Or is that one month old birthday? Anyway, it was actually only her four week old aniversary, and though I haven't broached this topic with Alexe, I'm pretty sure this should be celebrated on on the 6th to be accurate.

Anyway, enjoy. This is my family. (The pooches are lurking somewhere.)

My daughter

2008-01-31T16:03:00.001-05:00

Day 5

2008-01-11T15:54:00.000-05:00

Everything is great.

The day has been beautiful. We have all the doors open, and the sun has been streaming in. After yesterday's incredible day-long storms, with Tornadoes flying by in surrounding counties and NPR constantly interrupting their programming to extend the warning periods and read off the counties effected, it's a very pleasant change.

Alexe is doing very well. A few hours after my last changing session, I started to notice things around the house. There are these throw rugs that I really can't stand but Alexe insists on putting in front of all the exterior doors; in the big house clean up I did on Monday I laundered, folded, and hid them in the closet. This morning they found their way back to the floors. My alarm clock was repositioned on my night stand, the crib which has been functioning as my convenient changing station had been completely re-organized, (mind you I'm the only one changing diapers at this point, you would think I would get to do it my way) and the love seat had been plumped.

So Alexe is doing just fine.

Annaliese is also doing very well. She was having some eye goop problems with her right eye, but after a day of breast-milk, it's cleared right up. (Amazing stuff, this breast milk.)

She's sleeping for longer periods of time, and also staying awake, without crying, for longer periods. Her nose is growing out from the flattened state it was in right after birth, and her eyes are lightening. (I'm putting a nickle on Blue. One nickle, that is, for all of you to split if I'm wrong.)

Since her massive cleansing of the bowels that activity has slowed down, and she is pooming up a storm. (Pooming seems to be an unfamiliar term to some, it means "pooting", or if you must be so vulgar, "farting".) She's doesn't seem to mind, and it's really amusing to carry her around and feel the little bubbling on her butt.

She's making up for it with lots of pee.

I've got a little video I'm going to try to upload here. It's a little long, and may give you motion sickness, but I really wanted to catch one of her yawns. They're adorable.

OK, the upload failed (the file was almost 90 mb), so click on this link:

http://picasaweb.google.com/alexe.pvb/AnnalieseUpdated

Day 4

2008-01-10T15:24:00.001-05:00

(These are probably going to be pure "what's been happening" kinds of posts.)

Everything's going well.

Alexe is getting a couple hours of personal time while Annaliese snoozes in her sling on my chest. She's been eating up a storm, but miraculously is also sleeping for hours at a time. This phenomenon didn't start until around 7 this morning, so the night wasn't the most restful.

The little one was fidgety most of the night, and by 5 in the morning Alexe was long overdue for a break. I took over, and must say, nothing feels quite as big an accomplishment as getting a very upset bundle of lungs to fall asleep. She yelled at me for almost an hour, but when those little eyes closed, I vaulted for the bed and got in a good hour of sleep with Little A lying next to me in the crook of my arm. (A and I are making use of the guest bedroom for taking care of the crying little one. It allows the other one of us get some sleep even at the loudest of times.)

An hour later the little mouth was searching for something to suck on again, so Alexe took over, and miracle of miracles, on a full stomach Annaliese fell asleep again and A and I had a nice couple hours rest.

Turns out Shadow is afraid of Annaliese. I tried another bonding moment between the two of them, and Shadow very quickly exited the room.

I've been to the local library, and Alexe is well stocked with mystery novels. (How might Alexe be stocked with books, kinda a stretch of the grammatical rules, you might say? Oh shush.)

Also bought some walkie talkies for me and Alexe, which turned out to be worthless, so they're going back to Fred's. While our house is not all that expansive, it's not so easy to hear Alexe calling me from the guest room over the sound of crying baby, NPR (silence just wasn't working for our tired brains), the never ending laundry and dishwasher cycles, and me clanging pots and pans or sweeping. Oh yes, the house is spotless.

I'm feeling some squirming in the sling, so I'm off.

Day 3

2008-01-09T09:37:00.001-05:00

Alexe gave me the greatest gift last night. (After her love, hand in marriage, and a cute little baby, of course.) Almost 7 hours of sleep!

We have all been pretty well fried since Saturday.

But as of today:

Alexe is feeling much better, able to walk around with little A, and looking less pale, and emotionally feeling much better. Her milk has come in, which has pleased everyone. (This morning little A's face, all snoozy and looking like she had a question on her mind, was covered, nose cheeks and chin, in dried milk. Super cute.)

The house is finally caught up, laundry done, everything mopped, dishes and kitchen clean, bathrooms bleached down, compost out, trash out, last minute necessities and prescriptions picked up, and I think things should ease up a little bit. (We knew there wouldn't be much rest once she came, but we didn't think the starting point was a sleep starved 38 hour marathon. If we had been handed a new baby without that first step, who knows, so all you not-yet-parents, don't forget that slippery little fact.)

My chores are to keep everyone other than Annaliese in food, drinks, and doting attention. Shadow has taken to staying outside most of the day; she seems very uncomfortable in the house. (Cannot thank our landlords enough for that dog door and fenced in yard.) Dido, on the other hand, is fascinated and worried sick over the bundle that smells funny and cries periodically. She's in almost every picture I take, peeking over the side of the bed, sitting at attention staring up at wherever little A is, or, when she can reach, trying to lick any exposed part of little A.

Alexe is feeling much better. We've made improvements with the latching on, and with milk flowing, Alexe's worries and self doubt that had piled into her exhausted, fragile mind have eased a bit.

We've started to work out a process: Alexe is resting whenever she can. The feedings take a long time, and there isn't much time in between, so that's her sole job, along with consuming whatever food, tea, etc. I put in front of her.

When little A has had her fill, I swoop in and put her in a sling, where she snoozes while I do the dishes, sweep, take out the garbage, and generally act like Alexe did while little A was still in the womb. It's amazing how she'll sleep through me mopping, with her knocking into my chest, or clanging garbage can lids, or running water in the tub, or doing dishes. She seems to be more peaceful at these times than when I sit still.

Whenever that delightful odor drifts up to my nose, the sling is perfectly shaped to funnel it straight up, we visit the changing station and yet again break the 2 hour old record of ginormous amounts of poo. I had been using her cloth diapers without the plastic liners, but the amount of laundry that little bundle was producing was mind boggling. On one fun occasion she managed to thrust a poo covered leg into a clean stack of diapers. Rookie mistake, keeping clean diapers within reach. So, we're in plastic liners, and that seems to be containing things nicely.

Eventually little A starts seeking with her mouth for something to suck on, and will attach herself to anything within reach. Her hand and the cloth wraps will keep her happy for a few minutes. My pinkie, nose, neck, shoulder, will do for no more than a minute. Then it's back to her mama, who has mastered the side by side feeding method, and is sleeping right now while little A is snacking away.

It's all quite fun, and helps that she's so cute.

(I don't have any pictures downloaded to this computer. Those will certainly come later.)

She's Here!

2008-01-09T09:33:00.000-05:00

(This is 2 days late, I've been busy.)

Hurrah!
Annaliese Lee Coughlin was born at 11:06 pm on Sunday, January 6th, 2008.
Our gift for the 12th day of Christmas.

The Short version: 7 lbs 10 oz, 20+ inches long, with lots of hair.She's healthy, calm, and has turned into a cute pink little person in the past few hours. Alexe is doing fine. She went through 25 hours of drug free labor like a champion, and is resting in bed next to me with Annaliese suckling away happily.

The Long version:
An important note: very late in our pregnancy we decided to have a home birth with licensed professionals.

Saturday night Alexe started having contractions while we were watching To Catch a Thief, the last in our pile of Carry Grant films. Good movie.

By 10 pm they were under 10 minutes apart, and strong enough to launch us out of bed to work through them, so we're starting the labor clock there.

The midwives arrived at 4 am.

(I have here deleted the even longer version, that ran through vomiting, bathes, water breaking, etc. because my fuzzy brain can't write it without making it too graphic for all but a few, and I want to send this out once.)

Annaliese was born at 11:06 that night, after 25 hours of, honestly, miserable labor. She came out with a little cry, went straight to Alexe's chest, and in a few seconds had pooped and latched on.

We had a bit of a scare immediately following delivery. Alexe was bleeding heavily; we called 911, and as soon as I hung up the phone the bleeding stopped. The ambulance folks were very nice, checked over the baby and Alexe, and went away.

The midwives did all their checks, cleaned up the house, did some laundry, and left around 2:30 am this morning, with Alexe and Petunia in bed together, and me wandering the house on wobbly legs that had been holding Alexe up for a day, and a mind that was catching up with the fear of Alexe's bleeding.

We were up at 4 and 8:30, Annaliese and Alexe are snoozing and eating in shifts, I gave the little one her first bath this morning, (Thank you Paula) and we're generally glazed and enjoying the little noises that Annaliese makes. (Oh, and changing diapers. She's pooped 3 times in her first 12 hours here.)

Petunia seems to be cozy where she is

2008-01-05T12:58:00.000-05:00

And it's driving my darling young bride nuts.

Alexe is not the most patient person in the world, as many of you may know. She's the sort of person who opens Christmas presents early, looks through my Amazon account periodically to check on what might be for her, will decide she is ready to go for a walk when I have just stepped into the shower, and rather than wait, will sit on the toilette and glare at me until I'm ready.

We've filled these past 2 weeks or so, (we're only 8 days past the due date, but were prepared for Petunia the day after Christmas) with some really pleasant together time. Lots of long walks, lounging, we've read through a huge pile of library books, (I've made it through 5 Terry Pratchett books in the past 10 days, imagine what Alexe has read.) Watched a few Cary Grant movies, Arsenic and Old Lace most recently. Many bathe, a bit of working on the ole' building, replacing the kitchen door, cleaning the cars, installing the car seat, turning up the garden, listening to lots of public radio, etc. etc. Generally puttering around the house, making lots of food, and lamenting the need to return to money-making activities in the near future that make this sort of life style a "vacation" instead of the norm.

It's a dreary, rainy Saturday, with the pooches still tuckered from our long walk yesterday. A is reading in bed, periodically calling out for a bit of reassurance that she's doing just fine.

There's a chicken stew on the stove, a heater blowing gently on my feet, and it's a blessed life.

Some pictures from our walk yesterday:

Big ole bird that kept crossing our path. We never saw it, just these huge tracks.

Filthy little Dido. This required a bath and scissors to clean up.

Shadow and her stick.

Shadow and her stick, and me.

Isn't she lovely?

Me.

Cheerios everyone. When there is some News, you'll be some of the first to know.

Wonderful Christmas

2007-12-25T22:50:00.001-05:00

And no baby yet. :)

Though we had another very nice long hand-holding walk with the pooches, followed by romping around in the field next door, (literally hopping about) under the almost full moon changing "come on Petunia".

Merry Christmas everyone.

No Baby Yet

2007-12-24T15:54:00.000-05:00

But any moment now.

The phone has been ringing off the hook. Kinda fun, but I imagine it will get less so when we are actually in labor, or over due.

Alexe's doing well, after a 24 hour stomach bug. Petunia's fully prepared to come out, firmly planted head down, and making Alexe ache in all sorts of new places.

We're officially due on Friday, but who knows if we'll make it that long, or if we'll still be waiting 2 weeks from now.

We're doing everything we can to help the process along. We went for a very pleasant walk in the wilderness preserve a few miles away, all the way down to the river, through the cypress groves and swamps. Wandering through the woods, holding hands and chattering, with the pooches racing through the woods, cutting in front of us periodically to make sure we're still moving; We saw our life this afternoon as just this, walking along holding hands, with the weather, the trees, the terrain, the seasons, and the things racing around us changing, and us just strolling along, enjoying it all. Heaven on Earth.

I have a question for anyone who can find an answer: How often are beavers crushed by falling trees?

We're sitting in the sun filled living room, Alexe snoozing on the couch wrapped in a duvee, hand on belly. Shadow's pooped, flopped half on my foot and gently snoring. Dido's chewing away on her chewy-chip, looking worriedly over at Shadow, who finished hers more than an hour ago.

Oh, that's something I wanted to mention here, to anyone who is interested. I have been conducting a study of tennis balls. We have the perfect stress tester, powerful jaws, slightly sharp teeth, and a love for tennis balls that keeps us up at night with the incessant slobbering/chewing sounds.

I've been looking for a tennis ball brand that does not come unglued with a couple strong chomps. The "made for pooches" brands, all of them, are good for maybe 10 minutes. They are made of thicker rubber, but less flexible, and as all tennis balls are made in 2 halves and then glued together, they need to be plyable to stay together. (John and Christy, Shadow loved her present-balls, but had them in little pieces all over the house in under a half hour.)

Penn, while expensive, last under 2 hours, 3 if Shadow's savoring them. Almost every other brand, whatever Walmart has on the shelf, will break down more quickly.

Far and away the best: Wilsons. These, for some reason, are guaranteed to last overnight, sometimes 2 nights, sticking together even after Shadow has gotten a tooth or 2 through them.

Hope that bit of info comes in handy at some point.

Much love to most everyone.

Merry Holidays

2007-12-15T12:57:00.000-05:00

We just said goodbye to Caitlin, Jim, and Natalie this morning.
Alexe went into town to send off our last Christmas boxes and cards, and do some other errands, leaving me at home to catch up on rest, do laundry and clean up the house, and generally shake off my funk at having my family leave.

We had a very nice visit, a full house since last Sunday evening. They brought lots of presents, my hunting rifle that my father was storing and packed up for me, (now I can try for a boar, something I've wanted to do since I moved down South) my paintball equipment, (not sure what I'm going to do with it, but fun to have) and a ton of fun board games. I won at all of them.

We received a package from my parents and another from Nicholas and Emily, both loaded with goodies.

This post is a general wrap up of recent events, and a few pictures of my various interests / projects.

I've been cleaning bricks in the upstairs of my building. I had intended to bring the first floor almost to completion before working on the upstairs, but as I realized the mess that would trickle down on some projects, I've been fitting those in to my schedule. Cleaning bricks, with the final step being a good long hose down with a pressure washer, makes for a watery mess flooding the first floor, so I'm working through that as quickly as possible.
This is a portion of the structural repair I put in. With guidance from 2 different engineers, I've run three 24 ft 3/4 inch steel rods from the back wall running into the floor joists of the building. The floor joists have been tied to each other, so the pressure is spread evenly. A turn buckle in the middle, and I pulled the back wall in about an inch and a half. The south wall has 4 rods going through it, tied to the end of the floor joists that were cut off 60+ years ago to make a hole for the stairs. Now I'm going to put in a floor and ceiling, and forget about this corner.

This is our baby girl's room. When we first started thinking about having Petunia (nickname, not her actual name), we talked through how little a baby actually needs, and how crazy the people who redecorate and dedicate lots of energy to beautifying a room for a creature with vision that doesn't reach beyond their crib must be.

Then our wonderful landlord came by and painted the room a beautiful blue that Alexe picked out, I put in new carpet, replaced the window Alexe broke, and slowly Alexe has moved furniture in, made curtains, and generally made it into one of the nicer rooms in the house.

A picture from the local Railroad museum of my building before the top floor was removed. Awesome, isn't it? The owner of the building was an elderly woman whose father had built this in 1870. She was concerned over the cracks that had formed on the southern-rear corner of the building (the ones I just repaired) and was convinced by someone that these were caused by the weight of the building. So she had the extra story removed to make it lighter. Grrr.

Natalie opening her final Christmas present. Alexe made her place mats and napkins from the same fabric she used to make the curtains in Petunia's room. And I went on a long search through every antique store in Oxford in search of an elegant set of silver salt and pepper shakers. A nice first apartment gift we thought.

Natalie in front of our Christmas tree. (After a word of caution from my mama, I won't go over where this tree is from. :) )

My darling bride, even though she is full term and the bay dropped a few nights ago, was a champion hostess. She took a bit of ribbing from my sisters on the cleanliness of the house, and Alexe's compulsive measures to keep it that way, but I'm proud of her and love showing off the home she provides for us.

The dinner table.

Everyone except for Alexe, who needed some time to work, took a road trip out through the Delta to see the Mississippi river. This is Natalie jumping off an old bulk-head at Friar's Point.

This is my sisters and brother in law, where we stopped at Morgan Freeman's club, Ground Zero, for a photo opportunity. The club is one of the most popular destinations in Northern MS, and it's always an interesting contrast for Northerners to see what prosperity looks like in the South. Looking at the run down towns in the North-East, it is still obvious the immense wealth and industry that used to exist. In the South, the past is also easy to see, and the disparity between the North and South's heydays is shocking.

Caitlin silhouetted in front of the setting sun over the Mississippi river.

More pictures,kind of

2007-10-31T09:29:00.000-05:00

I'm really pleased with this ability to make a whole bunch of photos accessible to you all through a simple link to Alexe's web album.

So following on the update on the building from the other day, I thought I would post the full album of pictures of that same building before I purchased it. Gives a bit of perspective, and for those of you who haven't visited, it might give you a better sense of what it is we got ourselves into. (Also, it should increase your "impressed" ness with how far we've come.

http://picasaweb.google.com/alexe.pvb/WagnerBuildingBefore

Photo bonanza

2007-10-29T21:32:00.000-05:00

Blogger isn't being cooperative to my big picture-upload.
I'm going to point you to a web album I just tried for the first time. It's part of Alexe's larger web album, so if you want to cruise through for a while, have a blast.
I just took a bunch of pictures of the building, unlabelled, but I want to catch the steps along the way. I have a plumber helping out this week, which will jump me forward quite a bit.

http://picasaweb.google.com/alexe.pvb/PictureBonanza

Alexe was away on a trip back to Virginia for the past 10 days. I've been going slightly bonkers, working every day since she left, either on the building, or at my day job, and regularly both.

I've had no reason to go home when I can bring the dogs down to the building with me. I'm feeling much more relaxed since she got back.

Perhaps some commentary later. I'm tired, and have to go back to work tomorrow.
Enjoy the pictures, I hope they're not too confusing.

Preparation

2007-10-11T16:59:00.000-04:00

I just saw a headline, or "human interest" thingy on Reuters asking: If an asteroid was headed towards Earth and you had 60 minutes left in your life, what would you do?

So I started thinking about it, and was planning my 60 minutes. My first thought was hat I would hop in the car and start racing home, calling my parents, my sisters, Nicholas and John and Natasha and ... then I realised that there's big dead zone between here and home. And I would want to say more than a couple words to some of you. But as soon as I got home I would want to be with Alexe, to walk across the street and lie down in the field with her and Shadow and Dido and watch the sky and talk. And honestly, I would want to call her on my drive home. So the whole calling loved ones isn't going to work out for me.

My solution is this. If ever there is some horrendous catastrophe that is going to happen quickly, I am not going to call you. Know I love you, and you are more than welcome to visit me and alexe in our hut in heaven.

If there's more time, I may give you a call, but if I don't, the above holds.

mkay?

Alexe's birthday today!

2007-10-09T13:19:00.000-04:00

And she's blue.

The stupid spa called and ruined her surprise yesterday, and she's worrying about passing out of the Spring Chicken age range. (I have assured her that won't happen until she's 72, but she's still worrying.)

Since the spa is ruined I'm scrambling with fridge installation and apple cake for her tonight, but she would very much benefit from a flood of loving, supportive calls. This is the girl who has danced her cute patoot through every birthday she has ever had. She loves her birthday, more than anyone I have ever met.

So call please. Multiple times. If you don't have her cell number (she's in Oxford today) call me and I'll give it to you.

Alexe's last day as a 24 year old

2007-10-08T10:34:00.000-04:00

And she's off having our baby girl checked on.

Can't say enough about what a good choice I made. She's almost 7 months preggers now, and is just beautiful. Last night we went to the town's athletic fields to play with the pooches, and she (Alexe) was racing around after Shadow, scrambling for the tennis ball, and even attempted a cart wheel! (A noble attempt.)

Good strong woman. And cute as a button.

On Saturday night we moseyed down to the town green for the weekly music event. Had a very pleasant, mellow time sitting on a bench eating spaghetti from the local girl's softball team fundraiser and hamburgers from the Lion's club, and listening to a band sing about cornbread. Lots of folks stopping by our bench to say hello, tell Alexe she looks great, and generally ask if I know what I'm going to do with the building. (It's positioned exactly across the street from the band stand, I think a very elegant back drop, but it's hard to avoid it coming up in conversations.)

There is a 3rd generation pharmacist in town, he's running the same drug store (with soda fountain) his grandfather started. Alexe has interviewed him for her Talk of the Valley weekly column, and I've listened to him guest preach at church, but I had not yet met him. (This is the case with most of the town; Alexe knows them intimately, I do not.)

This man, I believe in his 70s, glows a bit with God's constant presence. I'd seen this when he was at the pulpit, but after the first hour of his preaching, with no end in sight, it was a comical observation more than anything else.

On Saturday night I introduced myself, as he had just inquired after Alexe's health, and shook his hand. He was warm, affectionate, and soothing all at once. He said he had wanted to give me something for a while, took out his wallet, took a folded $100 bill out of a hidden pouch, and slipped it into my pocket. "A drop in the bucket to help with your renovation; we appreciate what you're doing so much" he said. I didn't even make a motion to refuse. There was no arguing.

He then reached into his breast pocket, pulled out a yellow card, handed it to me with a smile, and wished us a pleasant evening. The yellow card said, "Smile, God Loves you and I Love you." He had a pocket full of them.

I'm living in a story book.

My goodness it's been over a month

2007-10-05T10:59:00.000-04:00

Hmm, and so much has happened in that month, as per usual. I have all sorts of photo-opportunities, which I take advantage of, thinking "this would be a great thing to share with my family and friends via the ole blog", and then I never get to it. Ditto with random thoughts, about life and love and babies and marriage. They just never seem to make it this far.

Which produces rambling entries, far longer and less concentrated than a worthwhile entry should be.

Quickly, then:
1) Building progresses well. Hiring a plumber and an electrician, purchased appliances for the appt and coin operated washer and dryer for the common area, walled off the back room on the first floor, have most of the tiles off the floor, have one teenager left working for me, had to fire the other.
2) As of Wed we are in the third trimester. Crazy. Alexe's belly is very definitely baby-filled now, and she is doing a remarkable job of a) mooning over baby b) hitting her daily novel writing quota c) continuing her proofing for the AJPH and her local newspaper work d) keeping out house cozy and clean e) nesting like crazy, ie making slipcovers, buying mirrors and more mirrors, and re-arranging the furniture f) radiating super-sexy preggers girl. I can still count on at least two prancing around the house belly first sessions per day.
3) Alexe's turning 25 next Tuesday, fun messing with her expectation levels.
4) Work progresses.
5) Northern Vermont troop is coming down in Dec, very much looking forward to that.
6) J&C may also come down in early Nov., also very cool.
7) We had a lovely 2 year anniversary.
8) Shadow is at the vet, again, with various troubles. More on that when I pick her up this afternoon.
9) Ummm, baby shower, long visit from the mother in-law, massive Costco run, etc. Just basic life stuff.

See, by the time I get here, the thoughts muddle and nothing really seems that news worthy.

Re-reading the Chtorr series, in between the birthing books as I'm on Dula (sp?) duties. Still one of my favorite science fiction series, the Chtorr, not the birthing books.

Brendan's birthday and the anniversary of his death passed by in late August. A generally sullen time for everyone in my family, and a difficult time for Alexe, who has no idea what to say, and zero experience with not saying. I have weeks worth of not so deep thoughts about Brendan, his passing, death, and the general impact and importance of these events on me and everyone else. They can be easily condensed to this: it sucks.

It has produced an interesting fatalism in me since he died. I am constantly braced for loss. Which is highly ironic, because I am steeped in blessings far beyond my deserving. So much to lose. I make a point of being constantly thankful, yet always prepared for some terrible news. It's not so much a perpetual state of fear as a state of quiet acceptance.

This is not the easiest concept to articulate, because I am a faith based person, certainly feel that the large things are out of my control, but in no way do I limit my own efforts to impact my circumstances. It's an odd harmony between two contradictory thoughts that I completely believe. 1) I have no ability to change what has and will happen. However 2) My abilities are God's most direct means of effecting my life.

I suppose the underlying axiom here is God is a loving god, which I believe.

Which leads me to work my tail off for the betterment and safety of me and mine, believing that nothing will happen for us unless I make it happen, and simultaneously, I have no way of preventing stuff from happening to us.

How's that strike you?

It leads me to renovate a building rightfully requiring a crew of 20 and take on a chunk of business responsibility probably the job of 3 (both for the financial security they should eventually provide), make an effort every day to appreciate and indulge in my partner, and get a whopping life insurance policy just in case.

And miss Brendan.
And be happy to be alive.

Enjoy your weekend.

So much!

2007-08-21T11:44:00.000-04:00

I wrote a wonderful long post the other day, and blogger conveniently let it slip through the tubes of the Internet.

But, inspired by Nicholas' gargantuan catch-up effort on his blog, and some wonderful happenings yesterday, and my flight to DC in an hour, here goes.

We're having a girl!! A little princess!

Not to compete with my chief princess, who has made it very clear she will share the spotlight, but never step out of the middle of it.

My darling bride is weepy-ecstatic. She was prancing around the house yesterday, flipping her dress up over her belly and saying "it's a girl!!!". This continued when we walked the dogs all through town.

Wasn't until we were folding laundry on the couch, watching Scrubs and packing, that I noticed she had written "kiss me" on her belly. I certainly complied.

So that's our news.
I'm swamped with the building, still trying to get the engineer to complete his work. Tried prying up the 5k square feet of three layered vinyl tile on the first floor, got less than 1/4 of the room done in 10 hours, so I'm looking for some day laborers.

In DC all week for a conference, back to MS for 2 days, then up to PA for a family event at Blooming Grove, then down the NC for John and Sara's wedding, then back to MS. Weee.

Love to all.
A girl!

My wonderful big and little sisters (and brother in law)

2007-08-09T17:37:00.000-04:00

Feeling all mushy towards my sisters right now.

Caitlin and Jim went to the Simpson's premiere in Springfield, VT. She sent me a wonderful note in the mail today, along with a cd of all the pictures she took there.

I went through every picture, scanning the crowd for people I might recognize. Not one. In a town of < 10,000 people, that I spent most of the first 18 years of my life in. Slightly upsetting.

But thank you so much Caitlin. And there was a really sweet picture of C&J, which I am going to post here, just because I think they're so cute.

And just to prove the Simpson's thing, here's Groening.

oh, and here're some Simpson suits.

And anything but a small note: Natalie, at 20, paid off the student loans she took out for her first year of college. The youngest of us, and the only one with no college debt. Very proud of her.

My lovely new stairs

2007-08-07T23:39:00.000-04:00

Just have a look. Cutting those stringers took far too long, and I need to find some shims for the center stringer, which hangs 1/8 of an inch too low.

I started ripping out the old stairwell, and opened up the original rear exit. The cinder block wall will come out only after I've re-framed those doors and found or built replacements. (I wish I could salvage, but they're ready to disintegrate.)

So, new stairs:
Back wall:And the remnants of the old stairs:

New post

2007-08-03T13:00:00.001-04:00

The trouble with delaying these updates is that the news and random thoughts just pile up, and it gets more daunting the longer you wait. However, since there are several folks who have not updated their blogs yet, and I need a high-horse from which to scold, here we go. (I refer here to a certain big sister, and best friend, who have mastered their guilt and continue through life with stale blog postings for months at a time.)

So much. Alexe is now 19 weeks pregnant. The 20th of this month we are going to find out if we have a boy or girl. We have no idea, and our preference seems to shift from week to week. I'm looking forward to the transition from "my sweetie has a little pooch belly and is acting funny" to "oh my Lord, we're having a child". Should be a hoot.

I've been away from my building project for two weeks while making a trip to Vegas for work, and then a working vacation to the NC coast with Alexe's family.

Vegas is loud and bright, and working a conference is super-draining. The kind of days when you fall into bed with a sore face from on the talking and smiling, laughing, and generally using up vast reserves of "pleasant Kagan". Nicholas came out for a short visit (in a cute little rented Prius, we had fun watching the batteries charge as we drove along), and we had a wonderful time first catching up, a necessity for a best friend I see once or twice a year if I'm lucky, and then we went out to Lake Mead and the Hoover Dam. We swam in the lake, beautiful fresh water, and then went and took a peak at the dam. Amazing. Can't say much more about it without pictures, which are trapped in my cell phone.
Oh, and it was 112 degrees in the desert.

A pleasant red eye flight back to Memphis, a 5 am arrival I will never repeat, had me back at work for two days before Alexe and I piled into the car with Dido and Shadow and headed East for 1010 miles to Join Alexe's extended maternal side of the family for a week at the beach. (I worked while there to preserve vacation for paternity leave, not the most moral building location for that sort of thing.) The rented house the 9 of us stayed in was 3.5 miles down a beach of very soft and shifting sand, a novelty that wears off surprisingly quickly and becomes stressful as all get out. Local tow trucks have a field day charging $250 to get folks going again. The mother in law and her sisters went three days before combusting, and then it was a waiting game until Sat morning when we started our 1010 mile trek home.

2 things:
1)Alexe is so much fun in a bikini at the beach. Strutting and dancing with her belly pushed out, and playing in the waves with me without moving her legs too much because she's convinced they will look like baby seals to the sharks.
2)We miss Trader Joe's. Stopped at the nearest one to our house on the way back home, in Atlanta, and packed the car so full that Shadow was surrounded in the back seat by cascading piles of Pirate's Booty, and Dido was "stuck" on my lap.

The new stairs in our building are almost done, which is very exciting. This week is the Watermelon Carnival in Water Valley, and we're looking forward to the street dance tonight.

I'm sure there's more, but I've officially posted so slackers beware.

Week 16

2007-07-12T23:59:00.000-04:00

I was just strongly corrected when I asked "Week 14?"

My darling bride is sitting across the room knitting a vest for the impending toddler. (She's been talking about toddlers recently.) I'm back from a night at the building, where I discovered I can't figure out the sine of an angle without a calculator, and square roots of numbers in the tens of thousands don't pop into my mind the way they used to. I spent the whole evening figuring out the proper cuts for the stringers of my new stair case, and only cut one. It fits though, I installed it to make sure, and pulled it back out to use as a guide.

The most recent picture of the growing belly, 16 weeks, baby the size of an avocado.

Kagan's Fishin' Trip

2007-07-04T15:06:00.000-04:00

A pleasant interlude from the building project.

I was invited to be the 14th person on a fishing trip over the weekend. I am easily 30 years younger than the median age of the party, a group of good old Mississippi boys that have been taking this particular trip for 37 years, but needed a body to fill out this particular trip. The logistics of the trip: a large boat, with sleeping cabins for all, heads out into the Gulf of Mexico. On top of this boat are 7 small skiffs, which are lowered into the water by cranes after the big boat moors at the fishing destination, and pairs of guys, plus fishing gear and a cooler of beverages, leave the mother ship for fishing adventures, returning for meals, showers, more beverages, and to sleep.

On Thursday I left with the two local Water Valley guys I was invited by, and we were in GulfPort, MS, loading our gear on the boat by 7 that evening, along with the rest of the crowd who had come from as far as Colorado. (The group all went to high school together, or some such thing, and have spread out over the years, but still come together for this trip.) That's the premise. For the next 3 days I slept very little, caught some fish, watched amazing amounts of alcohol processed by suffering livers, toasted under a bright sun, and had a generally hot, odd, and fun time.

We were fishing for speckled trout and red fish. I caught far more "junk" fish than the keepers, but these turned out to be far more fun to fight on the line. Most of these fish were under 3 pounds to give you perspective; we did catch one 3 lb 14 oz trout. Most of the water, as we were fishing off the Chandeleur Island, was approx. waist deep.

On to the pictures.
I'm not going to order them, because as I uploaded these they got all mixed up.

My fishing partner Cliff.
A fun story. Standing waist deep in water with the boat clipped to my belt so it wouldn't drift away, Cliff and I were catching lady fish by the dozens and releasing them. He said, "there's probably a bit of blood in the water now, and there are sharks around here." I turned my head, saw a fin, said "fin", we hopped our butts back into the boat, and I started reeling in the fish I already had on the line. There was a massive boiling of water not too far from where we had been standing, and I reeled in this fish head.
A rookery for Frigat (sp?) birds. Very neat, and large, birds.
A cat fish. Both Cliff and I were surprised to find these live in salt water.
Fishing off a sand bar.
We got stuck in some shallows. I started paddling (see below) and ended up having to tow us out.
Sorry I didn't rotate these folks. This picture is proof working on the building is putting me back in shape.
The second morning. Yes, we started fishing before first light. I was tired, and not so sure this was where I wanted to be.
This was Mason Island, much smaller since Katrina hit it.
Fishing off the tip of Mason Island.
Dolphins in the water. Fun to watch, they scared off the fish. We saw lots of interesting wildlife, sharks and many kind of fish, tons of birds, crabs swimming by.
It rained for 5 minutes the first morning, then was blue skies and scorching hot for the next three days.
Cliff, with a big trout.
Me the first morning, headed out after breakfast. Being the first morning, we didn't have our routine down so the sun was above the horizon when we set out. Just barely though.
The mother boat. Notice what is lining the side of the boat: cases of beer. The hard stuff was inside. After my first two beers, I admitted to myself and the fellas that I really don't like beer, and enjoyed my ginger ale, water, and root beer. I got a little crap for bringing little bottles of Pellegrino, but when they said bringing coolers full of cold beverages to go fishing, I brought fun things I liked.
And that's that. Alexe is counting to 120 for me to be done with this super long post.

Alexe's sister was visiting while I was away, which was great for her. Thanks 'Liza.

And would you believe it, (those of you who know my darling wife won't have trouble) she finished counting to 120 (I told her to give me two minutes), pushed me out of my seat, sat down to read this entry, and said, "you really need to sum up; it's not very good without a summary." Aaargh !!

So I had a fascinating exposure to salt water fishing, 60-70 yr old conservative southern boy bonding, sleep deprivation, and the burning sun over the Gulf. Great lessons learned, stories added to the library, and crispy skin left int he shower.

Two interesting things:
1) Everyone has said it, but I'll add my experience. Katrina devastated that area. I was standing on a dock made of concrete. The end of that dock was a twisted mess of rebar and giant slabs of the same concrete. We drove by a lovely grove of live oaks, huge trees I couldn't fit my arms around if they were twice as long. The tops were still bare, the middle sections just struggling to get some green out. They were still beautiful, and I commented on what a lovely grove it was, so close to the beach. I was told that it used to be a neighborhood, complete with huge Victorian homes over 100 years old. There was not a trace of them left, just the trees and what turned out to be new scrub brush coming up between them.

2) One night the conversation turned to politics. This crowd ripped George a new hole, cursing his ineptitude, intelligence (lack of), war-hunger, and general effect on America. They were in agreement that we went into Iraq for oil and money, and it was a terrible move. These folks are as conservative as they get, and all voted for the president. I had no idea the country was coming together so much. (Also, these guys admitted they voted for W because they all felt guilty for letting his father down when clinton unseated him. Never thought about it from that angle.)

The promised pictures

2007-06-17T20:09:00.000-04:00

I've been a bit slow in posting pictures of my pet project. Largely because, though I'm making huge leaps and strides, it doesn't show up well on camera. And I'm tired of telling people how impressed they should be.

The short, after filling the first dumpster single handedly, I've decided to hire a teenager to do some of the heavy lifting. All the walls, rooms, and 1/2 floors have been removed on the first level. As soon as I build the replacement stairs to the second floor, the originals will be pulled, and the second set of rear doors will be opened up again.

Most of the wiring, which was a scary mess, has been ripped out. After finding a live, old wire under the carpet, I stripped everything out of the breaker box except the lights and work sockets I need for now.

But first, the most important progress:
Amazing, isn't it? 12 weeks.

mmkay, on to the building: View from the front right corner.
View from the front left hand corner.

And the pile of materials I'm left with after ripping out all the unwanted walls and platforms. I could build a house out of the surplus dimensioned lumber and plywood I've got, just from the first floor, but it's riddled with nails right now. Another wonderful task for the teenager. (I tried getting Alexe to help, it didn't work out.)

The back stairwell to the second floor, mentioned above. I plan to remove this, as soon as I build the replacements. Notice the double doors trapped behind the stairs. These were sealed on the outside by a cinder-block wall, and on the inside by these stairs. All soon to change.
These are all large pictures, click on them to zoom in.
Have a great week.

Lots to show and tell.

2007-06-14T10:23:00.001-04:00

But right now, I have no pictures handy, so I'll simply tell.

#1. We're having a baby. Due Dec. 28th, or thereabouts.
#2. We had a wonderful time at our cabin in VT. Final floor installed, wood stove installed, porch roof complete. And Harry put in a pond for us.
#3. Lots of progress on the building.
#4. We have been eating tomatoes, beans, peas, lettuce, carrots, basil, and turnips from our garden for weeks now.

Pictures of all of these wonderful topics will follow soon.

2 weeks later

2007-05-13T23:21:00.000-04:00

Apologies for the delay.
I've been pre-occupied.
It took a while of aimless ripping and tearing, but I've realized I'm simply clearing my canvas before I can start to create. Lots of sweat and fun, and a young wife who is relieved to learn that I want to play, and don't demand anything from her but occasional company and chattering.

Lots of pictures follow, or lead, depending on how this uploading works out.

(The dumpster arrived on Thursday, which helped clear a lot of the piles out.)

Day 2, Alexe's home

2007-04-28T21:28:00.000-04:00

I spent all last evening and night in our new beautiful building. And then was up at 7:20 this morning, pondering things in bed, so after breakfast, and pooch duties, and some laundry, I was back to work a bit before 9. Pictures follow.

I had to quit at 4 to meet Alexe in Oxford for the DoubleDecker festival. They closed off the square and had two huge stages, hundreds of booths with both food and art. A good time.

Back to work tomorrow, after church, and this time with Alexe's help.

(Work was interrupted today by the appraiser, and two of his friends who came back to look at all the old wallpaper left from the Masonic Temple that used to be in the building. The upper half of a huge room, above the false ceiling, is still completely lined in the stuff. Interesting patterns. They tried to take a full square, couldn't ge it off. I told them they could have a single pattern piece when got up to that room, and if the mason's wanted to come remove a full panel (about 6 x 8 ft) I'd consider it if they'd rehab the whole brick wall they took it from. :) )

Oh, and I also got an AARP card pre-filled out for me. A bit depressing.

We closed today

2007-04-27T23:30:00.000-04:00

So, we have a big, beautiful building.
Alexe went to see Stinkie this afternoon in Birmingham. She'll be back tomorrow.
I spent the whole evening ripping things apart. So much fun. And so much work to do.

Here are some pictures of the first floor, before I started. I'll post my progress as I go.

Soothing evening

2007-04-24T22:56:00.000-04:00

Alexe is reading on the couch across the room.

I'm sitting here in front of the computer, listening to Andy McKee (Go to youtube, listen to this guy. Acoustic guitar, so pleasant and relaxed, and fast. amazing fingers on this guy. Big, bald, with a bushy beard. I have him playing in the background.)

Looks like we're going to close on the building this week. We came to an agreement on the price, attorneys are working, structural engineer has mapped the entire building, bank is ready to cut a check. I'm a bit excited. I should be able to move my workshop in over the weekend while Alexe is in Alabama visiting her friend Stinkie, and probably get to work with the sledge hammer. :) Ok, more than a bit excited.

I'm also shopping for a scissor lift as I sit here. Gonna need it. Found one in Alabama, checking to see if it's under 32" wide, which it needs to be to fit through the upstairs doorways. That's an invaluable tool when it comes to big, high ceilings and possible high sheetrock work on the walls.

So, went to Morgan Freeman's house on Saturday with Alexe and Ace. Alexe was working for the local paper, Ace was an invited local writer, I came on his wife's ticket, as she was at her sister's bachelorette party in NC.

Not a great time. Beautiful ground, but Morgan wasn't there, and while the literary event had some talented writers who read, (including Ruby Dee), each read for about 40 minutes, and we were stuck on folding chairs, with poor food, and no time to mingle.

Ace took us to Ground Zero afterwards, Morgan Freeman's club in Clarksdale, MS. It's a forced version of an old Juke joint. The place is run down, plastered with writing and names all over the wall, dingy, pool tables. It's pretty neat, and we had a good time listening to the band and playing pool, but Ace told us the whole place was designed by a Hollywood-ish crew. They came in, aged everything, and it has a bit of that movie set feel, slightly plastic and fake.

Alexe and I didn't get back for bed until just before 12. It was a shock to the system.

We went to a local church on Sunday morning. We've been commuting up to a small country church, but we thought it's be nice to explore the local, walkable churches. Didn't realize they started at 10:50, walked in the wrong door 10 minutes late. But it was very pleasant, no hate from the pulpit, which makes my stomach clench, and a very welcoming crowd. (I'm always surprised at how many people Alexe already knows. She a celebrity down here, and she's always introducing me to some person she just loves.)

We planted the rest of our seeds, tomato plants, and pepper plants tonight.

We also put on our new Mississippi plates on the car and truck. No turning back now.

Sleep tight everyone, or good morning.

Hurrah!

2007-04-20T21:02:00.000-04:00

The bmw is back in one piece!

Turns out the thermostat went.

Took the removing of the radiator, fan, fan clutch, belts, water pump, and thermostat to figure that out. (Had I removed the thermostat first, this wouldn't have been the case. Lesson learned.)

After reassembling everything with a new thermostat and a fan shroud that needed some zip ties to hold it together after I finished with it, there was an odd dripping of coolant.

When the thermostat stuck shut, the pressure built up to the point of making the cast aluminum of the goose-neck porous at one of the seams. Not cracked, so I could have seen it before reassembling everything, just porous.

Took a week to get it in the mail.

On to our Friday night.

Have a great weekend everyone.
I'll try to post news on how our thing at Morgan Freeman's house goes over the weekend.

Pressure like a drawn bow.

2007-04-18T16:25:00.000-04:00

Last you heard from me, we had put a bid on a commercial building.

The bid was flat out refused. Alexe panicked, I pulled on a chess face.

Monday, after some strategic moves, we are within 10k of where I want to be.

At the same time: We found a perfect farm to buy. Just perfect. Location, land, and feeling. Standing on the porch off the kitchen, as we have done in one of our several trespassing trips, I have a calm feeling that reminds me of my grandparent's porch in Vevey. Just wonderful. With a view.

It's not for sale.

But no one lives in it.

The woman is in her 80s, her husband passed away a little over a year ago, she wants to go home, but is unwell and must live in a nursing home. Her three sons haven't done anything with the house for a couple years.

It exudes love, peace, and quiet removed family life. It's perfect.

Were trying.

Add to these two buildings (which we live exactly between, 3 blocks away in opposing directions) Alexe's manuscripts that are out with agents, the seedlings that are popping up in the garden that Alexe wants to baby to death, the pooches that swing between grinning happiness and early morning-under-the-bed retching, the job stress, the community involvement (Alexe is on the Board of the Main Street Project), the warming weather, the car with a cooling system problem, the job stress (again), the southern fish that won't bite on a cold day, the dinner guests, the gray kitchen linoleum that Alexe hates and scrubs every day, the library fines, my new table saw and wheel barrow, and a new (to us) imac g4, we're having a wonderfully busy time.

Something more sooner than later. I wonder how much of my audience I've lost with the long silence.

And...

2007-03-15T00:04:00.000-04:00

We put in a bid on this building.
Much more on that later. Now we're just waiting.

Mississippian

2007-03-14T23:56:00.000-04:00

Well, after 10 years with my Vermont license, I've given it up and officially become a resident of a different state. And a Southern state at that.

I haven't lived in VT for something like 8 years. The longest visit home since leaving for college was last fall, 34 days. And yet I have managed to keep my pretty green license, renewed, and with new pictures, for all that time.

It wasn't until last year that I gave up my Vermont license plates on my vehicles. I can say that every vehicle I ever privately owned proudly wandered around this country with a green badge on the front and back. (Well, the '67 international pickup only had 1 green plate.) That truck was registered in VT, and had never been to the state in its whole life.

Good insurance rates for VT vehicles.

The vehicles that Alexe and I have together were registered in VA for a year or so. Now we're going to have to get MS plates, with "Yalobousha" (the county we live in) proudly stamped on there.

A slight odd feeling about this change.

One last mention

2007-02-28T09:24:00.000-05:00

If you're getting tired of the "the South is so different and cool" theme I've had going, I apologize.
I promise to branch out, after this.

Last weekend, while wandering the country roads in our constant search for a secluded farm house on some land, Alexe thought she spotted some flames in the woods to our right. The road side was scorched, with black burn marks going a ways into the woods, and several memorial crosses on the side of the road.

The flames were farther back into the woods, and we didn't know if someone was doing a controlled burn (a popular alternative to mowing down here), whose land it was, and where the nearest house was.

We were pondering the situation, rolling slowly forward in the truck, when a car came up behind us, pulled alongside, and rolled down the window.

The fellow assumed we were looking at the scorching next to the road, and told us about a person that had been racing around the back roads, hit the power poll, and exploded.

We expressed our horror, and then asked how recently it had happened, since there were still flames in the forest. The chap didn't believe us, so we backed up the road, and he and I hopped out and walked into the woods.

We made our way through the scorched trees that had been burned weeks earlier by the accident, and came into healthy trees, with a single exception. A pine about 5 inches in diameter was missing bits of bark all the way up it's side, and in a concentric circle around it's base, flames had slowly cooked through about 6 feet of the pine needle cover.

I felt the trunk, and it was cool, but the lightning had obviously snaked down the tree, ignited the base somehow, and created a circle of short flames that stretched out in a pretty circle around the tree.

We stomped the flames down, but they kept popping up. The chap I was with turned out to live a couple doors down, so we left with the persistent little flames still popping up, and he assured me he'd check back to see if the current drizzle and impending downpour took care of it.

Wonderful News

2007-02-26T23:35:00.000-05:00

Natasha is getting married!!!
Many of you have met this delightful person, either while we were roommates in Annapolis and DC, or at Alexe and my wedding.

She is currently pursuing her PhD in physics in California, and I found out tonight Nathan (her fiance) has also started his PhD in African Studies. (I hope I'm getting this right. I just remember he will be spending a year in Senegal.)

So, they're planning a 2008 wedding in Vermont somewhere. Nathan is from VT, Natasha is from Minnesota. Two hardy northern folks.

If you can think of an inexpensive, beautiful setting in VT for a wedding and reception, let me know and I'll pass it along.

Weather

2007-02-26T23:14:00.000-05:00

I've wanted to post about the weather and resulting infrastructure of the south, but in hopes that I would make the trek into town with the camera (all two blocks of the trip) and take some pictures to show what I'm talking about, I've been putting it off.

I don't have any pictures.

However, let me tell you about it. Water falls from the sky in floods. Frequency of presipitation doesn't impress me. I've spent time in DC, where it rains daily, and time in Alaska where it rains up to three times a day, and you can out-run the storm clouds that wander through the mountainous countryside, visible and finite to the naked eye. More recently, I've built a cabin in the woods of Vermont in what seemed like a 30 day constant drizzle.

Down here the water cascades, different from my previous rain experience as a garden hose to a water fall.

But more fascinating (for me) than the falling water are the systems set up to deal with these sudden deluges. I have never seen such a dedication to gutterage. Every little road has immense ravines on either side to deal with the flash flooding that is rainfall. Gutters in town are easily waste deep next to the sidewalk, and those running next to the main roads could pass small cars.

Parking lots have huge concrete gutters at 10 ft intervals, running down what looks to me like a very short embankment. Every house with a driveway coming off any sized road has a land bridge over the immense gutters that flank all the roads. I've never seen so many culverts.

What's more, these things fill up. They overflow. They can't contain the masses of water that demand passage every few days. It's incredible.

And, if that sounds not as interesting as I find it, this past Saturday was a whole different kind of hoot. Saturday night, after a long rainy day, Alexe and I made dinner (a scrumptious chicken with olives dish) and had a prairie home companion playing.

The show was disrupted by the screaming weather advisory, listing off thunderstorm, tornado, and hurricane warnings. This episode was cut short by the state weather advisory board, with slightly conflicting reports of locations of several tornados. For the next half hour, we heard two minute clips of Garrison Keillor, followed by more warnings tripping over each other. The message was there are several tornados, everyone is under advisory, they're all SouthWest of you, moving North East at 85 mph.

Alexe got a bit nervous, I told myself we were in a 100 year old house, luck should probably hold out for the night. The wind and rain was definitely howling, and the lightning strikes were impressive, followed by house shaking (and dog scaring) thunder.

As we sat down to eat in the central room of the house (no windows), with the radio still playing it's mixed fare, the town's siren wound up to a high pitched whine, and stayed on for the next 20 minutes.

It was our first experience with weather of that sort.

Dinner was delicious.

Dido's pop-influence

2007-02-18T22:06:00.000-05:00

I can't wait for teenagers.
My darling pooch, in some strange move of solidarity, demanded a haircut to match Ms. Spears.

Before:

After: